Witches Be Crazy
by FollieOfMadness
Summary: There was once a time when Death The Kidd wasn't the most powerful, or the only, Shinigami alive. There was a time when Medusa, Mabaa and a great deal many other witches lived. There was also time when Maka and Soul weren't the strongest humans there was. That time is gone, due to one girl. Angelika. A witch. With the wish to know all. This, is her story.
1. Before Witchez go CRAZY

**Soul Eater: Angelika new dance moves**

**Author's notes: After working on this for a ground breaking 3 afternoons, i've finally got a plotline. YAY! As Rhode would say.**

***Ahem* I need to rewatch Soul Eater to refresh myself sooooo BADLY but i need to read the fanfics i have in my other tabs soooo badly as well.  
*Cries* It's so hard being me.**

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"_I've been so lonely girl  
I've been so sad and down  
Couldn't understand why haters joked around  
I wanted to be free with other creatures like me  
And now I got my wish, cause I know that I'm a gay fish gay fi-"_

I punched my alarm clock into the adjacent wall.

She had done it again. That bastard of a sister of mine had reworked my clock to play inappropriate music to wake me up.

If I had just said that I didn't like fish sticks…

My sister wouldn't have ever rigged my alarm clock to play inappropriate music all the freakin' TIME.

Last time she did it, she was in hospital for a WEEK because of how badly I beat her. Using my fists might I add, I don't know why, but I'm naturally brutish.

I prefer to punch first, and ask questions when said punched person is in hospital later.

"CLEMENTINNNNNNNNNNNE!" I screamed my sister's name. When I got my hands on her, I was going make sure that either she wouldn't or _couldn't_ play another prank on me.

Ya dig?

Going down the stairs, I ran after the little troublemaker hiding behind the couch.

Steam coming off of my face, I ran after her in circles, "GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE WISEASS! I ONLY WANT TO MURDER YOU!" I shouted.

"Haha~, now why would I do that, big sis? It's much more fun to just run in circles with you- WHOA!"

Reversed the polarity BI-OTCHEZ! I thought triumphantly.

I had stopped, and effectively caused her to run her face straight into my ass. I huffed as she fell over, "What did I tell you about messing with my alarm clock?" I said with a disapproving tone.

"Not too…" She said whilst giving me the puppy dog eyes.

Her hair (Dyed half pink half purple that crazy Anime-lover) flowed over her eyes, making her seem innocent. I begged to differ.

She was using her foot to slowly stomp out the rug or something, whatever she was doing made her look so adorable that I had the sudden urge to hug her.

It was a good thing that our parents were out. Dad always had to go to work every day as soon as he woke up. I hardly got to see him anymore.

My scrawny sister's (Why she always wore that god damn one piece one colour white dress is beyond me) stomach grumbled. I smirked; I would have to cook her breakfast. Again.

I actually got her breakfast each morning myself, as dad never had the time to. I almost felt as I should call child services 'cuz she would sure as hell be malnourished and dehydrated if it wasn't for me. But I didn't want to get separated from our dad. He was a good man, just busy.

My sister always told me she loved him, but I could always feel the anger emanating from her whenever he returned home. I guess she couldn't forgive him for leaving our mother as she was; broken and sick.

Mentally ill, you see. She had schizophrenia and talked about a place that never even existed, called 'Death City' and would spout how my father should run with the kids and take them to someplace that not even the Grim Reaper could reach us.

Why; she never said. The only thing that I could find coherent in her ramblings was how she loved us; it made it that much more painful to leave her in the nut house when she knew that she had gone mad.

First things first, she was going to have to eat her breakfast through a straw.

I cracked my neck with the most ominous possible stare I could muster. Hey, that's a good word, muster. I'll have to remember that.

"First, you die" I said with a grin that even scared me.

She gulped, and we resumed the chase.

In took just over half an hour before she fell to the ground panting, beside me. I tried to speak coherently but words escaped me.

My sister always asked when she read anything above her reading level what certain phrases meant, usually for comedic effect.

'Why would words run away?' Was the very first thing she asked me when the book said 'words escaped me'. I laughed my ass off, but my father disapproved my way of educating her. He said that it 'made her feel bad if I laughed at her failures'.

Pf, he may be my dad but he only knows so much about my sister. Like how she feels a drive to work harder when you put her on the spot, and how she always disobeys authority, but not favours.

As a matter of fact, I purposely made my feelings sound like authority so that these sorts of things happened; I knew she needed a loving hand even if she didn't want anyone's sympathy.

Especially mine.

She looked up to me, when I watched anime, she would join and watch it on her laptop (Why an eight year old has a laptop astounds me even to this day), when I went onto deviantART (I was a bit of deviant freak as I liked drawing. I found it put my mind at ease) and just about anything else I did she did as well.

It was weird to have my sister by like my shadow; doing what I did exactly how I did it. I would die by being set on fire and she would spontaneously combust, if you will.

Turning on the pan and adding bacon and eggs, my sister looked at the pan with hungry eyes; I don't even remember the last time she ate. It might have been a week ago, two, three, or maybe never. I had a horrible memory and attention sp- OH LOOK A BUTTERFLY!

See what I mean?

Finishing up, I kissed her gently on her forehead. I could see the near CGI effects going off in her eyes like a bad Michael bay movie (Which encompasses a hell of a lot of them LOL) as the food reached the table.

It thudded as it hit the table, and my sister sat up and pointed at me saying "THAT IS MAHOGANY!" I rolled my eyes. She wouldn't shut up about either Hunger Games or Twilight half the time, and when she DID, she would always make me hair-pulling worthy annoyed.

As I watched her eat, a piece of my dark green hair (Natural, I assure you) fell in front of my face. Now was not the time to let my hair become a problem. After my sister was done, we needed to practically sprint to get to school on time.

I put it back in place and it stayed in place, I breathed a sigh of relief and it fell right back out.

"Gr… stupid hair…" I grumbled as I put my hair back in place. Only for it to pop out again. I swear, if it could, it would laugh at me.

If my hair had ears, then I could threaten it to stay in place. But that would make me look like an idiot.

Don't I already? I gave my figure a visual once-over. Nope, I look fantastic, as always.

Hey, would you rather vanity or insanity? I can do both, so that's why I'm asking.

Anyway, getting the little rugrat to school was easier than I expected. Because I asked as a favour, she didn't object to me asking her to get ready.

She groaned of course, I don't know who she gets that from. I'm the perfect role model, I assure you. She went up the stairs and into her room. Now, we wait.

Sitting down on the couch with a groan, I thought over my life today. What I would need to when I got to school, I swear I could see the god damn chibi-fied teachers laughing at me from above, along with Textbooks with mouths.

What would life be like if I had telekinesis? I randomly thought. Or cat ears? Shaking my head for getting distracted, only to end up eying the ball of yarn a few metres away from me, I heard the doorbell ring just as I started getting strangled by the yarn.

Hey, yarn is evil man.

I walked/hopped over to the door, at one point having to actually 'worm' my way over there as I had fallen down.

Writhing my hand free from the constraints of the yarn (Writhing, another good word. I've got to use that more often. I r smart ), I turned the door knob.

The suspense built up as the door knob started opening slower and slower. Until I realised that it was just me being stupid.

Giving myself the pimp-hand, I opened the door and…

**DREAM TRANSITION MOTHERF*CKER!**

…I woke up in a cold sweat on the rough bed of the room I was in. I was dreaming. Or I was awake and just fell asleep. I don't know.

But that's why I'm here, in this asylum, because I don't know what's real and what isn't. Was that a dream? Probably. My dad was a drunken abusive man; I won't go into detail but let's just say that he acted as if he had something to prove.

Was it reality? I hoped to god it was. That this Asylum was just a figment of insanity, that my dad wasn't a drunkard, and that I was going to stop having this nightmare every day of my life, hope that I would get out of here was all I had.

My sister, well, she was taken to foster care 'cuz we didn't have any living relatives besides our parents.

I was stuck in hell, and momentarily given peace and freedom. Is this some kind of sick joke by god, the devil, or whatever else is out there? I often wondered.

Every day, treated like a crazy person, when I kept telling them I wasn't sick. Every day, questioning my sanity, if I was dreaming or if I was awake. Every day, the rope under my bed beckoned me to use it. Tie it around my head and just hang my hat up, so to speak. But I couldn't. I wouldn't leave my sister alone; never in a million years would I do something to harm her, playfully aside.

A knock on the metal door with scratch marks from times long since passed were still noticeable if you looked hard enough jolted me from my trance.

Poking his head through the door, Dr Michael smiled at me before saying "Hey kiddo, you feeling okay today?"

I knew that he was just trying to get me to open up. I knew that it was because I refused to talk as a protest to being here.

I glared at him before picking up the board that resided beside me and writing on it 'what do you want Michael? – Fast, annoyed' I wrote how it should be thought of as well.

"Ooookay, is it that time of the month again?" He said playfully. My cheeks burned with the fury of a thousand suns as I threw my board at him. He caught it; he was used to the banter between me and him every morning.

The board throwing part of it anyway, I still could never get used to the man's constant innuendo on his part. I found it infuriating, and stupid.

I crossed my arms and gave a small "Hrm" before looking away, still crossing my arms.

He was young looking, with some kind of stupid hair pattern where it had stripes going down that made his hair a brown and blue strip pattern. His face was naturally rounded, but not Downs Syndrome so. More like, an acorn.

He always looked cheerful, as if wasn't working at Hell – the Asylum. That god damn goofy smirk on his face made me want so desperately to rip it off, but I refrained from doing so after my fifth attempt.

He passed my board back to me and I caught it without even looking, I was still pouting with my arms crossed and eyes looking to the side.

He sighed, but still smiled, "I think it's about time for breakfast, what do you say, huh? I've got the tray right here, uh, uh?" He leaned his head to side and made his voice just that much more cheerful in an attempt to cheer me up.

I twitched my eyebrows in frustration and just "Hrm"-ed as a response.

He sighed again, before rubbing his face; he was rather pale today, though I didn't know why. It was like he had seen a ghost. White as a sheep, as they say.

"You know, I've been offered a new position in one of the other wards. Instead of the psych ward, I'll be working in the medical ward from now on" I instantly shot up at the news, but then slumped back down.

Out of all the people at this place, all those that complained on a daily basis, mister cheerful, the guy that liked working in the psych ward because 'it was always interesting' was going to leave?

I could feel a string on my heart pluck, and I felt like crying as time went by.

"A-ha! I knew that you could have emotions beside anger. Granted sadness is pretty bad but, still. You finally emoted, and that's enough for me" He made fake tears as he spoke next, "I'm so proud, they grow up so fast"

I felt like hitting him again and tried to do so.

He restrained me, "You've got spunk, kiddo. That just makes it all the better that I'm actually staying- OH! Got you good, didn't I?" He slapped his knee as he said 'OH!' Smug prick.

He chuckled, laughing at his own humour.

But, I felt that he crossed the line. Like he had betrayed me, so I just did what I did when I first came here, took the food tray from the slot in the door and sat on my bed and ate, not saying a word or sparing a glance at him.

Let him worry for a while, the asshole-ish bastard.

He sighed, and then for the first time in EVER I saw him frown. What was with him today?

"I can tell that you're totally into me and all so I shouldn't have done that. But I can make it up to you later if you want" He said with a mischievous tone.

I choked on my food as he said that. Launching up from my seat on my bed, I attempted to strangle him again, "And they say that being an ambulance driver is fun, pfff" He said out loud whilst he restrained me again.

I calmed down and sat back down on the bed, cheeks red from anger slowly turning to pink and then eventually back to my abnormally pale skin. I hadn't seen the sun outside since I came to this facility, and I was 8 when I came here.

I'm 12, you do the math.

"Well, later then Angelika" He was about to close the door when he stopped, "It's German, right?" He asked.

I nodded.

He closed the door and I could hear his footsteps walk down the corridor. It was then that I stared at my room.

The walls were concrete, they trusted me enough not to bash my head in at this stage, it had been a year since my last suicide attempt FYI, and were a faded and chipped white, bordering on grey due to the inferior lighting that the one window gave.

The window had bars on it, metal bars, so I couldn't escape using that. I just wanted to leave this place, but I couldn't. I don't think I ever would.

I don't even remember why they keep me in here. But they said that it was because of 'trauma' I couldn't remember. That what my dad did to me was so bad that I just couldn't cope with it.

They said the day that my memory came back and I could cope with the trauma that I was allowed to leave. But could I ever get better if I was just being traumatised by simply being here? Why wasn't I allowed to leave?

I didn't know. I just knew that I was being kept here against my will, and that I wanted to leave. Recently, I had made a plan to simply escape using spoons to dig through the wall, (I saw it in a pretty cool movie that I saw at the cafeteria once) but all they ever gave me was forks. So that was out.

I got out of bed after god knows how long, I lost track of time easily, and I didn't know why, and began wandering the ward.

I did this every day until I got bored and decided to simply head back to my room and think until Michael came by again with lunch and then later that day at dinner. In-between lunch and dinner, I headed to the pharmacist to get my medication. Why I needed it, I never knew.

Or was it later at night? Or evening? Whatever, it's not like I knew the answer to that question.

I sighed in defeat before looking at the stairs. The ones that went up lead to pharmacist, and the ones that went down lead to the offices that all the doctors went to or something. My room was waaaaay down the hallway, and would take a good minute to reach it. I often wondered just how large this place was.

I looked at the stairs again before taking a look around, no one was around here to tell me not to, I glanced out of the corner of my eyes at the stairs, no one was coming up the stairs either.

Unconsciously, I took a step towards the stairs. What was the worst that could happen?

I walked down the stairs and was instantly uncomfortable, the place was completely different them the ward upstairs.

Upstairs, there was an eerie harmony, an almost tranquil silence. Granted, I hated the silence. It was like being dead when no one else was around.

But this, I couldn't _stop _hearing noises. The sound of soft chattering, like the voices schizophrenics hear (Or how I imagined it anyway) filled the hallways with an eerie disturbing silence.

I felt myself slowly being driven insane from the voices. And for the first time in a while, I felt fear in my gut that made me want to run screaming in the other direction.

Only I wouldn't let myself.

I pressed on, unsure of what I was looking for, if I was looking for anything at all. I might just be doing this for no reason in particular besides that I'm bor-

"-I'm telling you, I'm making progress!" I heard an angry voice come from the door beside me. I turned and put my ear against the door, wondering what was happening on the other side.

"Mister, Michael" A second voice spoke in a rather obnoxious northern accent.

"I have asked you here because I wanted your professional opinion on Angelika's mental health, not for you to yell at me like some undisciplined CHILD!" His voice scared me with just how angry the northern man sounded.

"Sir, Mister Cain, I'm sorry for losing my temper, but I'm telling you that you should let her remember on her own! If you tell her, she'll be destroyed, suicidal even!" I recognised the voice. It was Michael. What was he doing there, getting yelled at by some asshole northerner?

"I'm sure you think that she needs extra attention because she resembles your late daughter, but I'm here to tell you that she is here on MY dime! The sooner that we can get her be clinically stable, the better" The northerner said coldly.

What were they talking about? What would destroy me? Why didn't Michael tell me that I resembled his daughter? That last question made a pang of something appear in my chest. Was it anger? Sadness? Guilt? Something else? All of the above?

"Not to mention her late night antics. She wakes up in the middle of night, sleep walking, until she goes back to her room. But not before waking up everyone else with her crying!" The northerner said.

I sleep walked? And cried whilst doing it to? Why didn't anyone tell me?

I heard slamming on wood, and I leapt back a bit in surprise, "My personal feelings have nothing to do with this! I'm telling you, professionally, as her physiatrist pretending to be the one that serves her food just to get on her good side and get her to talk to me, _and nothing else_, that if you tell her the truth, she will be DES-TROYED! There won't be enough of her mind left to fill a thimble!" Michael's angry voice scared me a little, just because it sounded so _wrong _on the guy. I had always thought he would be calm all the time.

There was a brief silence before the northerner spoke up again, "If you don't tell her that she killed her sister, I will"

My heart, my lungs, hell every organ I had caught in my throat. I couldn't breathe. Couldn't think. Couldn't. Move.

I fell over onto the ground and blacked out.

I was faintly aware of the sounds of voices. But I couldn't do anything. Just breathe, and blink. Soon enough though, I was aware of being in a hospital room.

It was fuzzy though, like I had glasses on that didn't work for me and made things out of focus instead.

It wasn't too long before I closed my eyes, and fell asleep...

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**Author's notes: Can't tell what's real and what's not? Murdered your sister without knowing it/remembering it?**

**How comes to mind?**

**Please note, just because i have a second Soul Eater fanfic does NOT mean that i'm discontinuing my other Soul Eater fanfic. If anything, i've got renewed resolve after i got a brilliant idea for how to portray Imperial's past.**

**Laterz yo, i'm out.**

**Edit: Gentlemen, words cannot convey my own annoyance at not having the resolve to write the next chapter. ;.; /Tears**

**And ladies as well, I simply cannot to tell you lovely people how sorry I am in words. :/**


	2. TROLLFACE

**HOW THE INTERNET IS POWERED: BY DR34D "Da Bawss" NOISE**

You know, I secretly bet that the children aren't abducted so much as they are taken as fuel for the internet.

Me thinks that Bill Gates secretly powers the internet with not only the souls of the Korean immigrant children but with the children that are abducted each year.

Oh yeah, I'm talkin' for REALZ here. I think that Bill Gates secretly has a giant cage underneath his house that he uses to keep children captive and power the internet by Tron-ifying them into virtual energy. Then, he uploads the virtual energy to a factory in Minecraft in which he converts their souls into EMC therefore giving him DIAMONDZ for DAYZ and make him a virtually rich man. Then me thinks that he destroys all evidence of the computers existence to protect it from the Russian KGB (Not to be confused with the Russian KFC, a cheap knock off of pure Italian chicken that are harvested from the chicken mines) 'cuz we all know that they are actually in with the whole abduction thing and have secretly taken money out of Bill Gates pocket for years. Then, he takes the USB that he uploaded the files onto the then fuses the USB to his forehead so that he can mind meld with computers. Using the information that he took from Sarah Palin ('Cuz she's a Red Spy) he virtually uploads his conscious to the internet to meet Morgan Freeman, as he is actually a MACHINE, then talks with him about directions to the core of the internet (He always forgets hence why he created Morgan Freeman; to be his travel guide) and goes there. ONLY TO GET ATTACKED BY NINAJS EVERY TIME. He fights the ninja's with 1998 Microsoft discs that he uses as Shuriken ('Have a taste of 1998 processing power ninja SCUM) and decapitates them instantly and all 'cuz he secretly learned that from Anakin Skywalker since he is actually a cross-dimension travelling Wizard. With 1337 5k1ll5. He then hacks the mainframe of reality and right before he's done Master Chief and Willy Wonka come out of nowhere and bitch slap him and talk like 1930's gangsta's at the same time. They shout "TIME FOR THE FAMOUS BILL GATES TO GET" Master Chief pauses dramatically as Willy Wonka puts on sunglasses, "GATTED!" (Pronounced Gate-ed). Bill Gates fly's into the air ninja flipping and knocks Willy Wonka unconscious instantly. Master Chief starts shouting Duke Nukem one-liners with Bill Gates as they fight using Window's Keyboards the functioned as Katana's, and right as Master Chief is about to win Bill Gates turn into a race car and runs over that motherf*cker Master Chief. He kicks his limp body in the nuts and instantly a giant CARNIFEX appears from nowhere and shoots guns bullets of biomass at him which he easily dodges them and cuts it in half Kanda-style (As in the way he beat the giant Akuma in the Anime in Edo, Japan). It explodes into miniature children-zombies from Dead Space 2 and attempts to maul Bill Gates as he types in the last few keys. Right as he finishes and smashes his forehead into the USB socket the zombie-children start dancing to the beat of Party Rock Anthem and Bill Gates goes WTF but that was just a distraction to make him turn away as a Angry Marine face tries to eat Bill only to get ninja kicked in the face. The zombie-children stop dancing and attempt to bit his legs off only for to reveal that his legs are Auto-mail and Karate chop them repeatedly until their heads explode into giant computer parts. THEY WERE ONLY ROBOTS! But it didn't matter to Bill Gates because he uploads the dat at last but just before it finishes uploading, that rat bastard BRAINIAC interrupts the download and attempts to possess Bill until Bill activates his self-destruct sequence and explodes.

Bill Gates walks away unscathed from his missing head-ness and picks up the USB and uploads it again. ONLY FOR SASHA GREY TO APPEAR WIELDING NUN-CHUCKS WITH AN ARMY OF AKUMA BEHIND HER! Bill Gates just laughs and says "YOU JUST ASTIVATED MY TRAPCARD" 'cuz Bill Gates knew that they were coming and had layed down giant BOMBZ made of Windows PC's (They make excellent shrapnel - Bill) strapped with C4. They went KABOOM as Bill pressed the detonator and went OMFGAPGJHWIHGIH as all the pretty colours appeared along with a a double rainbow. Right as he typed the final key to save the internet from Sasha Grey's obvious plan to destroy it the nuclear core of the internet went into Meltdown from lack of power and Bill Gates got scarred. His legs gave under and he started crying right before Korn showed up and told him to "SHUT THE FUCK UP GET UP" and Bill Gates did and pressed the last key on the keyboard and stopped the meltdown and SAVED TEH INTERNETZ. Giant parades were thrown in Bill gates honour only for him to nearly get assassinated by Suzaku in his Zero outfit and kicked him in the nuts. Suzaku fell over writhing in pain as Bill Gates picked up his Buster's sword and neatly cut off Suzaku's hear and turned it into a toupee for his assistant who said he wanted some hair to cover up his baldness. The assistant thanked Bill Gates right as he ripped off his own head to reveal that he was actually JESUS and because Bill helped him Jesus promised to power the internet for him. Only just then JESUS was shot in the head by a Skirmisher Sniper from Halo with a Needle Rifle. Bill Gates, in a rage unlocked the 9-tailed fox demon spirit and attacked the sniper with a giant pall of AWESOMENESS. The sniper fell over and started convulsing at the sight of it and Bill gates shrugged it off only for the sniper to get back up and SHOOT HIM IN THE HEAD and Bill Gates fell down, dead.

Jesus, having newly resurrected blew up the sniper along with the building it was on revived Bill gates right as Jesus made a car appear out of nowhere because the KGB must have been on their trail if they had sent their top assassin to kill Bill gates. Jesus created a giant Hummer and put Bill Gates in it onyl for Bill Gates to say "JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL" and Jesus nodded and did. ALEINZ attacked a predator drone that Bill gates had control of 'cuz he secretly owned the whole world destroyed the green thingy. Onyl for the green thigny to try and murder Bill but Jesus wouldn't let him! Jesus jumped in front of space gun and wrapped himself around it, blowing up both him and Alien. Bill Gates got really really really angry at Jesus's death and stuff only for Mecha Sasha Grey to appear and challenge him to a lightsaber duel. They fought and Bill Gates cut off Sasha Grey's arms and legs right as they fought when suddenly Darth Vader appeared from behind Sasha Grey and started cutting off her limbs. Bill Gates stopped him from doign it 'cuz Sasha Grey was actually a doube agent working for him and punched Darth Vader in the face and destroyed the entire solar system in one almighty falcon punch. Bill Gates survived the destruction of Earth and was sad 'cuz now he had no one to talk to when all of a sudden JESUS appeared from nowhere and recreated the universe and gave Bill Gates the power's of God 'cuz Jesus it awesome like that and all of a sudden the KGB and the CIA were fighting over who could ask Bill Gates for his autograph 'cuz he was so cool. When suddenly a giant meteor struck the battlfield of Los Angelos and the black thingy from Spider-man merged with Jesus forcing him into being a villain because Jesus didn't want to hurt his only friend Bill Gates.

"NO!" Bill Gates cried out as Jesus turned into the anti-christ and starting singing satanic music (Dragula by Rob Zombie) and was murdering all the children. "NO NOT THE CHILDREN! I NEED THEM TO POWER THE INTERNET!" Bill Gate shout. Jesus cut off their heads with the whip from Castlevania and all of a sudden Hulk Hogan teleported in front of Jesus and beat him up using professional wrestling moves. Jesus was down for the count when suddenly MOSES came out of nowhere and made a giant boat 'cuz they needed to escape the ZOMBIE ALIENZ THAT WERE ATTTACKING. Bill Gates found a PC on board of the ark and uploaded internetz power.

**LA FIN**


	3. Slightly Before Witchez Go CRAZY

**Soul Eater: Witchez be CRAZY Chapter 2**

_**Hahahaha got you guys GOOD didn't I? Thought I had a new chapter yesterday, eh? LOLZ. Well, here's you knew chapter. Enjoy. For it may be your last. JK, jk. Also, *Trollface***_

**Edit: 'Sup? I want to apologise for not having a chapter up in so long. I've been SOOOOO preocupied with thinking over my D. Gray-man story's plot that I haven't gotten the urge to write, and now when I'm close to a conclusion about the plot I got the urge to write again. YAY!**

* * *

…And found myself back to where I was before I feel asleep/woke up. (I'm still not sure about what is false and what is real, just in case you forgot)

I blinked my eyes from the sudden snap back to reality/whatever-you-could-call-falling-asleep-so-suddenly.

If I wasn't still tied up with yarn, I would have fallen over hilariously and then I would have gotten laughed at by everything under the sun. And yes, I'm looking at you sun. I thought as stared directly at the sun, burning my eyes.

"YHOOOO!" I shouted as I violently pulled back.

The figure whose face and name escapes me, not literally you nob head, sweat dropped. "You haven't changed….."

My head bounced up and I looked up at the person. She looked familiar, although I couldn't place it….

"MOM!" I heard my sister scream from behind me. Mother? Mother who- My eyes widened so quickly I genuinely thought my eye-lids would rip off. Mom. Mummy. Mother. The person whom gave birth to me. My MOM.

I did a crazy ninja back flip and landed on my feet, getting the yarn off of me in one swift movement as well. HA! Like a fuckin' BAWSS.

…That was until I fell on my ass. I was so preoccupied with rewarding myself with praise that I hadn't even noticed that I was falling.

"Wha- WHA!" THUD! I hit the floor, like a dumbass I grumbled to myself.

My sister wasted no time and ran, no, I'd say run like her life depended on it fits better in this context (Context, another word that I'll have to remember), towards our mother.

She embraced her, whilst standing on my face, and I could hear silent sobs coming from my sister. I got up from my position on the ground and dusted myself off. Granted, I should be screaming the roof off of this place saying "OMFG THE MOM'S OUT OF THE ASYLUM KEKEKEKE ZERG RUSH" but running around screaming wasn't my style.

Ever heard of the phrase speak your mind? Well I scream my mind.

"HOLY MIDDLE-AGED BRUNETTE HAIR THAT RESEMBLED THE COLOUR OF AUTUMN DRESSED IN CASUAL BLOUSE THAT IS ACTUALLY A LIGHT PURPLE ISH COLOUR AND WEARING A RATHER OUT OF PLACE RED SKIRT WITH A WHITE PATTERN ON IT THAT HAPPENS TO LOOK LIKE THE TREE BRANCHES IN WINTER I SENSE AN ODD AURA AROUNG HER AND STUFF THAT UNNERVES ME AND WHY DIDN'T I RECOGNISE HER TO BE OUR MOTHER AT FIRST-" I took an extremely deep breath and continued, "-? CHRIST!"

I sighed, relieved that I had gotten that out of my system. My sister didn't even spare a glance in my direction as I spoke. But I meant what I said, why didn't I recognise her at first and why did she have this, aura around her? Like… an aura…. that felt like…. death.

I gulped and shivered, was it just me or did the room just drop a few degrees? Or rise a few degrees? I spotted the coat rack on the wall and immediately thoughts of what kind of colour cheese tasted like filled my head. I always thought it was yellow, but my sister said green.

My mother moved her attention away from my sister and towards me, and immediately I could feel my heart going faster and faster. Why so serious? I thought to myself.

I mentally shrugged, thought about what kind of Anime character I would date and then physically slapped myself. "AIOWHIOHAIGH" I shook my head at a speed that rivalled Speedy Gonzales running for his life. "I needed that" Actually, speaking of Aliens versus Predator, (Or at least that's what I was thinking) my mom was reminding me of both sides.

Alien feeling; predatory presence.

I unconsciously took a step back and stared at the face of my mother, whom was looking at me with slight wonder in her eyes. But what's what I saw it, a being constricted in chains and in the middle of a giant ocean of black. All of it was within the confines of my mother's eyes.

"SWEET JESUS IN A BODY FLOATING SLASH BEING HELD BY CHAINS IN THE MIDDLE OF A BLACK SEA SLASH OCEAN SLASH WHATEVER THE HELL THAT IS BASKET!" I was pretty much off my rocker at just the sight. It looked, so…. evil. So maddening to look at. And yet so captivating with all its mystery. I had to know whatever the hell was in her eye.

I took a step closer towards my mother, whom was giving me an odd look, somewhat close to a 'are you crazy?' and bordering on a 'What did you just say?' kind of look.

I took a step closer and instantly regretted it at the sight of my mother. Her, her, body had something, no I realised to my horror, some_one_ seemingly trapped inside in a black orb. Held by chains and in agony or so it seemed.

My eyes widened in shock for the second time that day, but not before I let out a scream. Whatever that thing was, it was, was… grotesque. Inhuman. A monster. A thing. An it. An abomination. An object, not a person.

Whilst running these descriptors through my mind however, (Well that and thinking of what the lyrics to 'The Ultimate Showdown Of Ultimate Destiny' were again) my mother had stopped hugging my sister and rushed to my aid. I responded by crawling further down the hallway.

"K-keep away from me! You, or whatever that _thing _in you isn't human!" I scurried away towards the kitchen. I couldn't take it. What was that thing? I knew it couldn't be human, but my mind refused to think clearly. Everything I thought was even more cluttered than usual. Now things were just getting plain ridiculous.

My sister was staring at me in shock before I realised something. There was a black orb in her body as well, not quite as large as the one in my mother, or whatever it was, but still noticeable.

"Fine then. Have it your way" My mother's face twisted sickeningly and her body began to look animalistic. Like a monstrosity that escaped from some kind of lab. She looked genuinely crazy, and it wasn't until she pounced on my sister did I realise what she was doing.

RIP! SLASH! CLAW! She tore into my sister with an abnormally large grin. What was she DOING? "GET OFF OF MY SISTER!" I shouted menacingly, running at the thing, it, abomination monster whatever it was, it was hurting my sister.

I attempted to push her off only to be met with stiff resistance. She wouldn't budge. At all. She was butchering my sister right in front of me. "NO! GET OFF OF HER! YOU, YOU MONSTER!" She paused at that and turned her head.

Her neck seemed to be out of whack, IE, her neck elongated for no apparent reason and was inches away from my face. She stared intently into my eyes and I made a small visual pit spot to my sister. I wish I hadn't.

What she looked like bears not repeating, not now, not ever, lest we become mad just from reading. To put it in such a way that reach's the desired effect, and not make you made with sickening images, she looked worse than Edward Elric's brother in FMA when he tried to bring her back from the grave. Look it up.

My stomach reacted with such disgust that I immediately felt the overwhelming urge to throw up the food I had in me.

The thing that looked like my mother took one long claw-like finger and I ended up gazing at the suffering monstrosity in the sea of black once again.

"Who is the bigger monster here, eh? You are a witch, and I am merely insaaaaaane. You will kill many, that much is true, witch" I was a witch? Are you daft?

"You, you, attack my sister, take the appearance of my mother, and have the audacity to call me a monster? HOW DARE YOU, YOU PUTRID-" The tears of anger mixed in with the tears of sorrow at this point. "-WASTE OF GOD DAMN SPACE! YOU SHOULD BE ERASED! DELETED! DESTROOOOOOOOOYED!" At that, the monster slumped over, dead.

An arrow shaped music note had pierced her head from behind.

My mouth opened in shock, and for the third time that day not only did I open my eyes in shock but I spoke my mind. "MOTHER OF YOU DESERVED THAT BUT WHAT WHERE THE HELL DID THAT COME FROM OH MY GOD IS CLEMENTINE ALRIGHT NO SHE APPEARS TO BE DYING OH MY GOD SHE'S DYING GOD!" I fell to my knees. Why, what, how, who? Why did this happen? What JUST Happened? How did this sort of thing happen to me? Who did this?

Tears spilled out of my eyes uncontrollably. What just happened? Why? Why? Why…. I asked but not answer came. Why did this sort of thing happen to me? Why? For what reason? Am I being punished? Why then, why my sister? It should have taken my life if I had to pay!

There wasn't even a point to calling the paramedics. The only thing that could save her was a miracle. And I wasn't so lucky to have one. Her throat along with other major arteries were cut. No point at all. It was just pointless. All of this.

I didn't even realise it but amidst my crying she also cried. Was I making her cry? I attempted to dry my tears but they just came back out just fast. I stared back and took her hand in mine.

"Sis… I swear…. I will find out why mom did this to you. If not for me, then for you. It's a promise" I squeezed her hand reassuringly. I meant what I said. I wouldn't go to my grave unless I had answers.

Her hand started letting go. She was starting to depart this world, and go to wherever or whatever awaited her. I only hoped she would find peace.

Things became different after that. Upon dad coming home and finding my sister horribly mutilated, me borderline crazy after such trauma and finding my mother dead on the floor, he (The music note had disappeared FYI) became a different man. He loved both me and Clementine, so much so that when he lost Clementine, he became like the father I had in the asylum. The police arrived and they investigated, but nothing turned up. No explanation as to 'why' it happened. They tried collecting statements, but I couldn't talk though. I simply wanted to forget it and be done with it, and simply think it never happened.

But to make the leapt and admit that this never happened; that this wasn't real meant admitting that my father in the Asylum world DID abuse me, as that meant it was the real world. There wasn't anyone or anything that could get me to do that.

On a particular night, that I had dubbed 'Beerday' instead of Thursday, because he went out drinking that night, he came into my room and layed down in my bed. It had been just a month since Clementine died, and we couldn't afford a funeral. I begged dad to do anything to give her a proper burial, but instead she simply became forgotten, along with his old self. Snuggling under the covers of my bed, he placed his arms around me and breathed in my hair. His hand was gently sliding down my legs and to my-. My eyes instantly snapped open at that.

No, it was…. it was…. just like before… I wouldn't let him touch me! Not now! Not ever!

SHINK! The mysterious arrow note came out of nowhere and pierced my father's head, killing him instantaneously. I promptly climbed out of bed hearing the noise, not realising he was dead until I got out. I stifled a scream. Why? What's happening to me? I held my head and ran, not caring about whatever happened at after that.

My life became even worse after that. Life as a homeless kid was, well, horrible. Always hungry. Always thirsty. At least, I thought grimly, if I died tomorrow that I wouldn't mind. Why? What? How? Who? Why did it matter if I lived or died? (My thoughts were interrupted by the song YMCA playing through it. Damn you Village people for making such a catchy song!) What did I do to deserve this? How was I going to continue living like this? How COULD I live with the pain? Who did this to me? Who wanted me to be sad so badly? Questions swirled around in my head until I heard a noise in front of me.

It was winter, and snow was piling up to my ears (Not literally you idiot). Again, I would have to sleep it out on the streets and hope I didn't freeze to death. Or rather, not care if I did. If I died this day, what would it matter?

"What's your name, little child?" The voice in front of me asked.

She startled me, even after hearing her in front of me. And as such, I screamed my mind. "WHAT THE BLONDE HAIRED WOMEN WITH AN ODD LOOKING ATTIRE THAT APPEARS TO BE A BLACK DRESS SORT OF OR WHATEVER YOU CALL IT WITH HAIR BRAIDED IN SUCH A WAY THAT MAKES IT SIMILAR TO CADUCEUS SYMBOL THINGY ACTUALLY I SHOULD REALLY LEARN JUST WHAT THOSE KINDS OF SYMBOLS ARE OFF BY HEART AND NOT JUST CALL THEM THINGY'S OH WAIT I DID-" I took in a deep breath and met for the briefest time the mystified gaze that this woman was giving me. "-THAT ACTUALLY HAS AN AURA THAT ALIGHTLY UNNERVES ME AND STUFF AND LOOKS LIKE MY MOTHER I HATE MY MOTHER WITH A PASSION FOR MURDERING MY SISTER AND MAKING ME MURDER MY FATHER OR THAT AT LEAST WAS THE SUBSEQUENT ORDER OF THINGS AND OH WAIT SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID THAT HELL!"

She gave me the most dumbfounded of looks and blinked repeatedly. Was she a cop? That thought gave me pause. She didn't LOOK like a cop. I think. Maybe she did, maybe she didn't, and maybe there was someone in china having this exact thought process as I always thought.

Going to jail didn't scare me though. It couldn't be worse than what this is like at least. Oh, wait a second. She asked me my name, didn't she?

"My names Angelika. I like to, blurt out things, when I'm started. Usually what's just on my mind" I blurted out nervously.

She raised an eyebrow at me. "Why are you out in the cold?" She asked suddenly, eyes never wavering.

"Wh-what?" The question caught me off guard. Why did she care?

"I asked why you are on the street. I can only presume that you don't have any living relatives, given your speech" She mumbled the last part under her breath but I most certainly caught it.

"Yes. My father died recently and my mother is not alive as of a few months ago. But not before she… butchered, my sister" Just speaking the words made me feel the pain all over again. Why did this woman care?

"I see" She said in monotone. I could feel her stare on me like a hawk. Why did she care?

"Tell me, would you like to come with me?" What? What did she just say?

"Excuse me?"

"I asked, would you like to come with me?" She repeated. I couldn't believe it though. Why would this woman care? I was just somebody out on the street.

"Why do you care?" I asked, muffling my face in my rag covered arms.

This gave her pause. "Because, I think you are special. You are, like me. A witch, but I'm guessing you don't know that given your age, correct?" I poked my head back out. I was a witch? How did she-? Was I even-?

"A witch?" I snorted gruffly. "What are you, daft?" I looked back at her with as much strength I could muster behind my eyes. In short, attempted to glare.

She smiled at me. It was warm, inviting. Like what my mother used to give me before she… how did she even escape from the asylum? Why did she have to kill my sister? I could feel my features soften as well.

"I understand your inability to believe. I didn't believe that I was a witch myself at first, either. As a witch, you are born with advantages that others don't have. A greater potential. I can help you find your potential, if you'll let me" She extended her hand down to me. I looked at it. Why did this woman, someone out of the blue just suddenly make these accusations? But, why did I feel, I don't know, _safe _about the idea of traveling with her?

I slowly reached my hand out, why? Why did she have to care? What was I to her?

At the moment in time, I just left my questions unanswered. I just stopped thinking, and took her hand. What was the worst that could happen either?

A lightbulb went on in my mind as I realised something.

"I forgot to ask, what's your name, miss?" I said as she helped me up.

She paused for a bit almost as if pondering whether or not to tell me something. She smiled warmly and said "Medusa. Medusa Gorgon"

I returned the smile and said "Angelika Halberd. I guess my last name now is 'Gorgon' though, huh?"

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**Edit: Author's note: Why is Medusa acting kind? How did her mother escape the Asylum? Why did she do what she did? Granted, she said she was insane but still. Why? All these questions and more will be answered ON THE NEXT INSTALLMENT OF WITCHEZ BE CRA-ZY. See what I did thur? :)**

**Laterz, I'm out.**


	4. Ever so slighty before Witchez go CRAZY

**Soul Eater: Witchez be CRAZY: Chapter 3**

**Author's notes: Hey, viewers! I'd like to give thanks to xXChibiVampire101Xx for subscribing to Witchez be CRAZY and also give thanks to DeathofReality for favouriting this one!**

**You guys subscribed/favourited after just one chapter! And that to me, means I did a good job! Thanks guys. :)**

**For anyone wondering about why Medusa is being nice; it gets answered this chapter.**

* * *

**It had been a whole year since 'Medusa' had taken me in. I never understood why she did it, but I thought at the time it would just be rude to ask.**

She acted like a real mother to me. It, well, unnerved me that someone with such a threatening aura around them would act so, so, _kind._

It was like a snake, staying still, waiting for the right moment to strike. Speaking of which, I had learned quite a bit about 'witches' during my stay with her.

I had learned that the 'music notes' that had killed both of my parents, were there out of an instinctual reaction to danger. This meant I had effectively killed them.

For some reason though, this thought didn't make me as troubled nor as sad as I thought it would. I always thought I would simply go into a downward spiral had I killed someone. And yet, the supposed 'killers remorse' I should have felt, I didn't feel it.

Sure, I was sad at the thought that I had killed them, but Medusa had told me a valuable lesson about that, that she said would apply indefinitely to this world that I stepped into.

She said, and I quote "Kill or be killed. Survival of the fittest, something along those lines applies indefinitely in the world of Meisters and Witches. If you don't kill those that oppose you, you'll die quickly and most certainly painfully".

It still gave me chills just how casually she said that.

Which also brings me to my next topic; Meisters. Meisters, apparently, were people that can 'resonate' with 'Demon weapons', people that could turn into a weapon of their own volition.

By resonate, I meant by the fact that they could actually tune their own souls so that they could fight better with their weapons. Or something. Medusa explained it to me right after my first witch mass. I still remembered the awkward encounter at the end of it…

_**FLAAAAAASHBAAAAAAACK MOTHERF*CKA!**_

_Something was being said at witch mass, but I wasn't paying attention. I was still too preoccupied with thinking everything over that had happened to me in the past couple of months._

_First, my mother had killed my sister. As much as it hurt to think of it, she did. And that's the truth. I swear I could still hear the gurgling sound of my sister dying from bloodloss…_

_Second. She was obviously crazy; well she had schizophrenia but still! Last time I checked, it didn't make you kill people. Actually in some cases it did but that's beside the point! She had even openly admitted to being crazy. Last time I checked crazy people don't know they're crazy. _

_Three, after meeting her as well, I started seeing this little black 'orb' in everyone I met._

_Medusa's black orb was actually twice as large as the next person. It scared me to see whatever the hell it was in everyone. I had a theory that I was actually seeing the 'insanity' in people, but that too was insane. How could you see insanity?_

_Though, I had no right to call it crazy. If that was crazy, then being a 'witch' was going into even the most outlandish of insane ideas territory._

_Four. I haven't gone back the asylum in a long while. Not that I'm complaining… But what I wanted to know was what happened? What changed? Michael said that I… Was Michael the one that did this to me?_

_I had to contain my laughter. Right, like he was capable of doing something like that. Why? Who? How? What? Why is this happening, who did this to me, how did this even happen in the first place, and what actually DID transpire to make me into this state?_

_As an alchemist, (not to toot my own horn but a damn good one) I always wanted to know more. To know everything was more or less my goal in life. Silly though, isn't it? The oldest desire ever known; well, second after tappable person of the opposite gender but that too is beside the point. To know anything and everything was a fool's goal, but one I pursued none the less._

_Maybe I was a fool._

_Witch Mass finished just as I finished thinking, it was awfully convenient really but I didn't really care. DING! The little lightbulb in my head went off and I took out my pen and paper. I realised that I was low on a few ingredients and would need to collect them. Well, ask Medusa to stop by certain places so that I could collect them but that's beside the point!_

_I made a list of everything I would need, like how many grams or litres of X substance I required etc. etc., and ended up talking aloud in the process by accident. _

"_Let's see, that, 400 grams, 2 litres of that, 40 milligrams of this, oh! Of course! And undoubtedly 2 and a half grams of this. 20 kilograms of this, 30 litres of that…" You get the point._

_Anyway, I ended up walking into someone by accident. "Watch it inferior!"_

_My ears twitched. I looked up and saw a frog faced, literally girl with blue hair and rather stupid looking frog hat staring at me with malice._

_Medusa had told me that witches tend to dress eccentrically, but still. Nothing could have prepared me for what she did next. "Ribbit" She actually, genuinely, croaked!_

_I burst out into uncontrollable fits of laughter. What was with this person? She looked so stupid! "It, it even croaks!" I managed to say through my laughing._

_Her face turned into pure malice at my comment. I could see a cane rise out of the corner of my eye. Instinctively, I jumped back just in time to see the cane fly through where I once was._

_A few people had taken notice of us. The 'new comer' and the 'frog witch' were apparently 'about to duke it out in the courtyard'._

"_You just- why did- you, you, frog faced" Listen, when I get angry, and I do anger easily, though Medusa had been teaching me to control myself recently but that's beside the point! Basically, when I anger, I ANGER._

_You name it, I've probably have done it to someone in a fit of rage._

"_-Elitist, stupid looking, idiotic, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, STUPID PIECE OF TRASH! YOU GOD DMAN WASTE OF SPACE! HOW DARE YOU TRY AND ASSAULT ME-"Medusa had told me afterwards that I was probably just letting out my anger over my parents death, and that was why I snapped so easily._

"_-? YOU HAVE GOT TO THE MOST RETARDED, MENTALLY INCAPABLE PIECE OF SCUM THAT HAS EVER EXISTED! YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN STRANGLED IN THE CIRB YOU ABSOLUTELY ABOMINABLE UNIMAGINABLY-"I was using the big words. "-INCONCEIVABLY INCREIBLY MIND-BOGGLINGLY UNTHINKABLY MORONIC AND DAFT WASTE OF FLESH! YOU MAKE ME AND EVERYONE ELSE HERE SICK! I WISH YOU A THOUSAND YEARS OF PAIN AND MISERY! YOU SHOULD BE PUNISHED!" The punish thing was a habit I picked up from Medusa's interactions with other witches. She said it commonly for some reason._

_Thinking only in anger, I decked that bitch into next week. She was going to be seeing stars for a long while. It wasn't helping that I had been stomping on her ribs either._

"_YOU! YOU! YOU-" SHOVE! I was knocked off of the frog faced woman by another, shorter individual. She looked like a mouse._

"_Squeak squeak!" The mouse looking witch (I could only presume) was speaking in mouse squeaks for some reason. What was wrong with these people?_

"_I see the loser has back-up. Can't take on a twelve year old on your own? You still make me sick, you, and your retarded looking rat friend!" See, I was still angry. Getting shoved only made it worse. I was bordering on simply getting out my music notes and beheading them both, but I couldn't face that single note key. Not today, at least._

_The frog dusted herself off, but I could definitely hear the creak of broken bones. I smiled slightly, feeling if only a little bit accomplished._

"_She's a mouse. There's a difference"_

"_Squeak!" It sounded like the mouse was agreeing with her._

_Oh, so she was standing up for her? Were they really that kind of friends? A memory passed by my eyes of my sister, the first day she went to school. Since she was younger than me, she went to school later than me._

_She was picked on for having odd coloured hair. I stood by her, but people still made fun of her and even me for my green hair. I told them it was natural but that didn't faze the bully that was bothering my sister._

_My drive of hatred was diminished somewhat, and I turned my head down in sorrow. She was gone. My sister, Clementine, was gone. She'd died. I tightened my fist, my rage renewed. And it was because my mother had taken my sister away from me._

_I raised my head back up to look at the two of them to see them glaring menacingly. Trying to intimidate me, I see. Really? It would take a lot more than that to scare me. Far more._

"_Will you two idiots get out of my sight? Or do you want another beating? I know I broke at least a few ribs. Maybe" I cracked my neck. Ah, been meaning to do that all day actually. "Your rodent friend would like the feeling of my fist in her face?"_

_My face burned with rage. I wasn't going to let that rodent go. I was going to give her the worst beatdown of her life, and THEN stomp on her just for kicks. She needed to be punished, dearly._

_The frog using her magic made two tadpole shaped spheres in her hands, whilst the mouse looking witch made what appeared to be laser beams from her face in the shape of whiskers._

_Now, Medusa had taught me that each witch had a mantra. Each mantra wasn't really necessary unless it was for powerful spells or used as training wheels, so to speak._

_So, since I barely even knew magic I needed a mantra. I created a mantra off the top of my head. First thing that popped into my mind. It took me a lot of time to commit the mantra to memory though, so I should have chosen something easier to remember. Meh._

"_Make me a melody of screams!" A swarm of bats appeared, well, actually only about 20 but that's beside the point! The point was a lot of bats flew down from nowhere and landed on my stretched out arms. Hanging both upside down and sitting regularly on my arms. They were made of music notes, a double note for the torso, single notes for the legs and claws, and quadruple notes for the wings._

_They were all black but glowed with a slight outline of dark purple._

"_Have you met my pets? These kinds of bats have an uncanny taste. They are especially fond of frog legs" I saw the frog faced buffoon gulp. "And rodents" The small mouse squeaked in fear._

_I hadn't noticed it, but a rather large crowd of witches came from nowhere and were watching us bicker. "Well, that and human flesh but that's beside the point. They will tear you apart limb from limb, and drink the bloody remains to their hearts content. Trust me, I have seen this, they have done this (A bluff). I wouldn't mind if you did not want this, because I'm still going to feed you too them if you press it further" I narrowed my eyes. See just who would back off first._

_Truth was, during Medusa's lessons, of which she was teaching me about witch powers, she mentioned to me that each witch had a distinct animal theme. That and a miscellaneous theme of which the attacks were based as well off of. For instance, there could be a wombat themed witch with drill based powers._

_Medusa's themes were of 'arrows' and 'snakes'. Mine were, as you could probably have already noticed, 'bat's' and 'music'. _

_I could tell that the one with the broken ribs was struggling to stand. Most likely it was from the mixture of both fear and pain that I had done to her. The mouse though, was standing strong. Sweating nervously, but still standing strong._

"_Leave them, Angelika. They are neither worth the time nor the effort" A calm, older woman's voice said from behind me._

_I could see the frog open its mouth to retort but I simply sent a bat into the newly formed mouth-cave to shut her up._

_SNAP! My fingers snapped together. THNK! The frog was incapable of speaking. Good._

"_Put a bat in it, frog face. You two, rodent" I said with a sneer._

_Medusa patted me on the shoulder, "I see you are already well acquainted with the kind of people these, witches, are" Medusa said with obvious disdain._

"_Squeak squeak squea-"Mentally going 'FALCON PUNNNNNNNCH', I wacked that witch in the face. She wasn't going to be getting up anytime soon. The frog stared worryingly at the mouse, "Wanna join her?" I didn't wait for an answer as I punched her in the gut. She crumpled, soundlessly onto the floor, at which point she then made an audible thud._

"_Come. Let's go" Medusa said simply. I smiled at her, nodding in agreement._

_I left two broken, beaten up weak as hell witches in my wake that day._

_**END OF FLASHBACK MOFOOOOOOOO**_

Medusa was right. I WAS angry that day. Boy do I need to learn self-restraint. I sighed, what I would do have my alchemical set work faster.

Medusa had been kind enough to let me have an alchemy set. I used it to brew different types of potions, obviously. My current potion was only a prototype, and I had designed it with my own physiology in mind, so making one of the many test subjects Medusa had use it would prove to be fruitless.

Back to the thing I was discussing before I went off track speaking of my past, this was all just crazy, I was confused, and I had no clue how to figure it out is my brief summary of what I meant to say.

Damnit, why can't this thing brew faster? I nervously tapped the table of that my alchemical set was placed upon. It was a nice, out of the way workshop I had going on in the basement.

It was bubbling. Erm, was it supposed to be bubbling? I took a look a quick look at my notes. According to my research, it was supposed to be bubble, froth slightly, and right after that it should become extremely cold, to the point where it would rival the coldest deepest parts of the artic.

My notes lay strewn over my secondary table. There were three tables in all. Table one, to my left, was the table where I had all my recipes of 'what not to mix' and 'what to mix' cheat sheets on the pin-up board just above it. The table itself was covered in jars and pots and other assorted collected items that contained alchemical reagents.

Table two, my current table, was where the magic happened, so to speak. The actually alembic and other misshapen glass jars where in front of me, brewing potions and such. I sighed, this was taking just as long as expected, which don't get me wrong made me happy because it just meant that either I had the recipe right or I was damn close, but it was taking so freakin' LONG.

God never gave me patience. That also ties into my anger issues really, but that's beside the point. I was born to hit people, as my real mother had joked once.

I gripped my fist. The one that murdered my sister…

I heard footsteps coming down the stairs, as the stairs were opposite to me, I saw the shadow just as I heard the footsteps.

"Are you done brewing whatever potion you're making yet? Some of us have important work to do~~" Medusa said.

"What are you even attempting to make, anyway?" Judging from her shadow, she had put her hands on her hips. A gesture of which she rarely did unless she wanted an answer.

"How about we trade secrets? You tell me what that black substance you've been creating is, and I'll tell you what I'm making. Seem fair?" In all honesty, I was going to tell her anyway but trying to learn something new wouldn't hurt, could it?

To clarify; Medusa had been working on a mysterious project whenever I wasn't in the basement. I would sleep and find Medusa awake late at night in the alchemical station brewing something or other. About a month ago, I managed to get a sneak peek at her tests. The vial was filled with a black substance.

Medusa's shadow stiffened. Even I could tell from just looking at her shadow that she was debating about whether or not to tell me something.

"Angelika. If I told you that I took you in because I needed you as part of a grander plan, and this substance I've been making was part of it, how would you react? Hypothetically, of course" Now it was my turn to stiffen.

A grander plan? What, was she planning on throwing a revolution? I couldn't help but smile at that, before immediately frowning. If she had been keeping me in just because she needed me, then my answer was found, but why do I feel as if I wanted the answer to stay as 'no reason'?

"Hypothetically, just what would this grander plan be about?" I asked.

"Hypothetically, it would be a plan of which to evolve this world. It's so horribly dull, and nothing moves forward. It's stagnant. A fate worse than death. That plan, would cause the evolution of this world, and as such get this world to finally move forward and not be stagnant" I was in complete and utter disbelief. Medusa thought this world was stagnant? Since when? My thoughts were drawn to the asylum, did Medusa think of the world just as I thought of the asylum? The thought perturbed me deeply.

Was the person I had come to admire suffering secretly? "Medusa" I could barely hold back the tears. "I may not explain why, but I know how you feel. Trust me when I say, I support you and your plan. Even if it means using me like a pawn" I paused briefly, "Hypothetically, of course" Now, tears ran rampant down my cheeks. Though, I did not let myself whimper. Why didn't she tell me? Why? Who? How? What?

Why didn't she tell me? Who made her feel like this? How did I not notice this? What does she really think of me? My last thought made me stiffen ever so slightly. I already said, I don't care if she uses me as a pawn, but…

I shook my head, right then I realised that Medusa had left already. Probably waiting patiently, out of sight, out of mind for me to finish. Patience is a virtue she clearly has, and I don't.

I looked back at the mixture, since my gaze was of the wall in front of me, felt the misshapen alchemy jar. My hand shot back instantly. "OW! SON OF THE GLASS JAR IS EXTREMELY COLD MAYBE MY POTION IS DONE BREWING A BITCH!"

I giddily poured the solution into a vial. Now, this needed to be ingested to work, or at least according to my notes that's the way it's supposed to work. I poured the vial into my cup that I had kept there just for drinking the final product of my 3 months of hard work.

I was hesitant; I still had the choice of turning back. This was going to become a commitment if I drank this liquid solution. Though, I thought the pros would outweigh the cons.

I put the cups to my lips, but I didn't open them, something in me was telling me not to drink. Almost as if I drank, my life would be over. Meh. I wasn't one for thinking ahead.

"Bottom's up" I said, pouring the contents of the cup down my throat.

I swallowed, now to just wait for the side effects to happen. I made a heading on my research notes, 'Symptoms'. I started listing the effects of the potion as it occurred.

**F**irst, at 30 seconds in, I was dizzy, as though I had been spinning in a chair for several hours.

**S**econd, at 2 minutes and 43 seconds exactly I felt tired, like I just wanted to sleep and nothing more.

**T**hird, at 5 minutes and 14 seconds my limbs felt heavy. I couldn't move too well. But I still managed to write.

**F**ourth, at 10 minutes and 59 seconds my entire body went numb; speech became impossible.

**F**ifth, at 11 minutes and 16 seconds my ability to think clearly became impaired. I couldn't think of the date, the time, what I was doing, anything really. If it wasn't for me writing in the margins 'Write symptoms of the potion I took – That means you, wiseass!' I wouldn't have written anything beyond that.

**S**ixth, at 14 minutes and 32 seconds my arms felt as if they were on fire, but my tongue was too numb to let out any curses, instead I took the anti-tongue swallower (As I had dubbed it since I didn't know its name) and put it in my mouth and let myself bite into it to relieve pain.

**S**eventh, at 16 minutes and 37 seconds in both of my legs felt as if they were on fire. I bit harder into the anti-tongue swallowing device.

**E**ighth, at 19 minutes and 22 seconds my entire body felt as if I had been dipped in acid. I bit harder into the anti-tongue swallowing device.

**N**inth, at 20 minutes and 21 seconds a strange thirst settled into my mouth. I was thirsty, for what I didn't know; I had a pretty good idea though.

**T**enth, at 31 minutes and 4 seconds the pain went away, and instead my body felt as if it was recuperating. As if my insides were being rebuilt.

I waited for thirty more minutes. No, no more apparent symptoms. That was, until I looked into the alembic and saw my reflection. My right eye's natural blue colour had become red. The gold part of my eye (It was around the centre rim) still remained however. I didn't know when this occurred. Most likely during when my whole body felt as if it was on fire?

I shrugged it off. Now time to-

I started trembling and coughing, I was coughing up blood and in large amounts. Crap. I had suspected that my body might reject the formula. But to think it'd be that bad…

**My coughing must have alerted Medusa, as she came running. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Medusa running to me right before I collapsed and blacked out...**

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**Author's notes: DUN DUN DUNNNNN! What happened to Angelika? What was she attempting to do, anyway? What did she drink?**

**Those questions will get answered on the NEXT INSTALLMENT OF WITCHEZ BE CRA-ZY! So tune in to find out!**

**This chapter is actually a result of having freetime today. I've actually finished pretty much every single fanfic that I've been meaning to read. And by that, I mean I'm procrastinating reading 'Dark Dragon' 'Pure Colours' (What can I say? That story is so depressing I need a dozen cups of happy pills to make me feel better */Cries*) 'Too Good To Be True' 'Love Sleep, Come Onto Poverty' and 'Wondering Dusk:Renown'.**

**I have that to read plus a rather promising Hellsing fanfic called 'Helling 19' a parody of 'Department 19' (A book which I have FYI but haven't read yet) that does same situation as the book with the characters; in essence, the most absolutely badass crossover since TROH Ascension. A starcraft fanfic that adds Alex Mercer to the mix. YOU HEARD ME. AWESOME-SAUCE. It also is a story that I've been putting off reading, because I don't know what the plot is for Starcraft. I instantly favourited it without reading just because of the idea and now I'm (Procrastinating, really) trying to find out what the plot is via video walkthrough of the game.**

**Sorry for the long A/N, laterz, I'm out. See you next time. :) By the way, BLEH! BLEH! I'VE COME TO SUCK YOUR BLOOD! /Wink hint.**


	5. Witchez aren't CRAZY just yet, but soon!

**Soul Eater: Witchez be CRAZY: Chapter 4**

**Author's notes: Sorry for not updating, but I have a reason for that. I was at odds about what to write this chapter, but now I'm happy with what I chose to happen first, since there are going to be quite a few different new arc's added to Soul Eater with just my OC in it. It's character development and stuff, nothing you need to worry about.**

**On with the story...**

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_**FLASHBACK MOTHERFUCKAAAAAAaaaa…**_

"_Hey, sis, what's that?"_

"_BOOM! HEADSHOT!" I shouted whilst simultaneously fist-pumping. "Suck it! Mega slo-mo ownage!" It was only then that it dawned on me. Out of the corner of my eye, my sister was acting like she wanted to ask me a question._

_Oh, had I not heard it? I mentally shrugged. I guess I didn't._

"_Oh, did you say something sis?"_

_She sighed before rubbing her arm, a habit that I used to have when I was nervous. "Um, sis, I asked what was the game that you were playing…" Her voice, starting off rather audible, then gradually declined to the point where it was a miracle that I had caught it._

"_Oh? This? It's, uh…" I picked up the game case. Why did my memory always fail me when I needed it the most? "It says here that it's called "F.E.A.R, an abbreviation for 'First Encounter Assault Recon"_

"_Um, what's an abbreviation?" It was at that I laughed loudly before stopping myself. She looked hurt. "Oh, sorry Clementine. I thought you were joking. Abbreviation means 'short for something'. Like, an abbreviation for 'You Are My Sister' would 'Y.A.M.S'"_

"_But I'm not a Yam! And you aren't either! At least I think… Are you a Yam, sister?" I face palmed, and then sighed. This was going to take a while to explain…_

_Ah hell, why not go along with it? "Yeah, I guess you could say I'm a 'yam'. And so are you" I smiled._

_She pouted. "But I don't want to be a Yam! Yams are icky…"_

_I smirked slightly, "How do you know if you haven't tried being one? After all, you might enjoy being a type of vegetable. I know I could, as long as it means what it currently means"_

_She pouted even deeper, and a look of desperation spread across her face. "What do you mean 'as long as it means what it currently means'?" She inquired._

"_It means we're sisters, Clementine. Or should I call you Clay Carmine as a gamer's joke?" I said to myself more than anyone else._

"_What's a gamer?"_

_I could feel my eyes twitch, and again I sighed whilst face-palming. This, no doubt, was going to take longer than the LAST explanation would. At least, it meant time with my sister, and that was time always well spent._

_You never know when you could get separated from one you love, that was the lesson I learned from the asylum, and I intended to capitalize on every moment with my sister ever since that horrible dream started._

_**END OF FLASHBACK MOTEHRFUCKAAAAAAA…**_

My eyes darted open and I could feel something slowly falling down my cheeks. At first, I feared the worst, thinking that I could be now bleeding from my forehead, but instead my inquisition into what it was turned out to be just as grave.

I had cried in my sleep, thing, forced unconscious dream? Thingy?

I attempted to shrug only to find out that I was snuggly tucked under something. I looked at the opposing force to my push, and found it to be a bed sheet that was oppressing me. I sighed, of all the times to be dreaming, I had to have dreamed of the day my experiment succeeded. And then having a flashback to my past, the day before my mother murdered my sister in fact…

I shook the thoughts from my mind. Dressed first, experiments second, continued grieving third. I got myself out of bed, and went over to the dresser. My dream of success had felt so, so REAL to, and that was what annoyed me the most. Victory was within my grasp and yet it was plucked away. Suddenly I knew how all the super villains of just about any series of TV shows, books, comics, Anime, Manga, anything really, felt.

Oh, should have explained first, shouldn't I? I was in my room. Or at least, thought I was in my room. I could have still been dreaming. Really, I seriously didn't know what was real anymore, and what wasn't. I smiled slightly as a thought popped into my mind, at least if I go crazy then I'll be able to tell, sort of, what's real and what isn't. Maybe.

My dresser, FYI, was to the right of my bed. Probably should have mentioned that as well. The door was opposite to the wall of which I had my dresser on additionally, and the walls were white, but had a rather intricate pattern of silver that weaved along the walls. I had gotten the wallpaper the eighth month I had been with Medusa. It made my room just that one last bit classier, I had always reckoned.

I looked at my choice of clothes and grinned widely. Ah, clothes, what women in their right mind didn't love clothes with intricate patterns? Or just clothes in general at least, for that matter. Taking a nice set of black gloves out, (I LOVE GLOVES. GLOVES FTW) I put on my coat. It was a bit chilly right about now. Actually, should have mentioned that to begin with also. Damn, common sense and memory have never been my strong coats, so to speak.

The gloves were leather, and had a fluffy interior; did I mention how much I loved gloves? It was made only better by the Hitman insignia I had on the gloves, gotta love Agent 47. Always had a liking to men in suits for some reason, but casting that aside for now, I noticed that it was REALLY cold, and ended up having to put more clothes on than usual.

The coat was good, but not the best at blocking out the cold, so I went with more than just a coat, but a sweater underneath it, and below that, an ordinary T-Shirt. Granted, ordinary was on a person by person basis, and my ordinary T-Shirt was that of red chain that went round and round the entire thing. It actually was part of a set, where there were pants that kept up the pattern, along with a choker that finished the pattern around my neck. I put on all of them.

I rubbed my arms, even through all of those clothes, I STILL felt the cold ever so slightly, but I shrugged it off. If I wore any more clothes then I would have been the size of Duke Nukem's ego. Which is pretty damn large, for a damn good reason, might I remind you.

I didn't bother with shoes; Medusa had the floor of the house intricately heated, that way when she walked around barefoot during winter time (As she often did) she didn't get cold feet. I had meant to ask just how she could afford getting something so complex, but I hadn't had the opportunity to ask. Maybe now I could ask, I thought.

Crap, should have mentioned that the coat I was wearing had the same insignia that Alex Mercer has on his jacket. And that the coat went to around my ass. And that the sweater was white, while my T-Shirt was black (Minus the red-chains of course). Geez, why do I always almost forget these things? Rhetorical question; don't answer.

Am I explaining my appearance too much? Again, rhetorical, don't answer. Wait, was it rhetorical? Oh, who cares, I've got more important stuff to do. Like making an actual working version of the potion that I've tried to make. I rubbed my hands together and put them in my pockets, and began walking towards the door.

SLIP! THWACK! I tripped over my own feet because they were so numb, and ended up hitting my face on the door. "Ow…" I moaned. That hurt. Now I was actually bleeding, I realised to my horror as I touched my nose. Yeah, that's blood coming out of it. I sighed, and looked for the tissue box beside my bed. It didn't take long to find the damn green box with flowers on it, what DID take long, was me realising that my blood.

Was blue.

I was so shocked that whilst screaming was probably the most natural thing to do, I spoke my mind, as was MY most natural thing to do. "SICK SON OF A MY BLOOD'S BLUE WHAT THE FUCK WAIT DOES THAT MEAN MY EXPERIMENT SUCCEEDED AND WASN'T A FAILURE OH MY GOD I THINK THAT DOES BITCH!"

I jumped for joy, literally, as I was happy. The experiment wasn't a dream! I had succeeded at my potion! This meant cause for celebration! So, I celebrated. Simple. "YE-AH~! GO ME~, GO ME~, GO ME~, I MADE A SELF REPLICATING SELF REPAIRING BLOOD REPLACEMENT THAT WILL ALLOW ME TO GO WITHOUT BREATHING FOR AT LEAST AN HOUR IN-BETWEEN AND TAKE HEAVY BATTLE DAMAGE AND BE REPAIRED IN A MINUTE FLAT ALONG WITH SEVERAL OTHER NEARLY PLOT CONVENIENT ABLITES~~~~! GO ME~, GO ME~, I DID IT~, SUCK IT HATERS~, I MADE A-"I stopped when I realised that I was feeling slightly warm.

In short; the reason I was feeling cold before, and the reason I was feeling warm now was because the blood had the side effect of making me cold-blooded. You know, like a frog? Or a snake…

I took off my sweater, but kept my coat. I snapped my fingers when I realised something; I had also been trying to tweak my physiology, a bit, only a little.

Okay I admit it I had attempted to make myself superhuman. It was just too promising not to do it! What are you going to do, sue me for being unoriginal? I looked at the mirror and breathed in deeply. I examined my eyes closely, before realising that the red-eye colour effect I had accidentally caused had only gone to my right eye, my left eye was still blue. I smirked largely, nearly all the way to one ear it seemed. It looked badass, if not slightly intimidating.

I had expected that it would go to both of my eyes, but it didn't. Although, I was grateful that it didn't; this was far more awesome than that. I looked at my hair and gasped, right before speaking my mind again. "JESUS IN A GOD DAMN MY HAIR ON THE LEFT SIDE HAS BECOME LIGHTER ALMOST OLIVE GREEN GOD THIS IS AWESOME ALBIET SLIGHTLY WACKY BASKET" Silently though, I was screaming in joy that I had managed to accidentally make myself awesome looking. Imagine what I could do if I was meaning to do what I did? I would be unimaginably awesome! Nay, I would be what a baby badass wants to be when it grows up!

I fist pumped and jumped for joy once more. I had built up my ego by accident as well, but again who cares? I looked awesome, I felt awesome, I WAS awesome! I noticed just then that I had thought a lot more things with exclamation points than normal. Repeat second last statement; who cares?

I practically skipped out of the room as I laughed to myself. Who cares? Who cares? I don't! I had done it! Three months of hard work had done it! Who car-

THWACK! I had skipped straight into a wall, and started bleeding out of my nose again. Should I have mentioned that during my celebration my nose had healed nearly instantly? I should have, but I had just mentioned it now, so never mind. I sighed, now my abnormally good mood had been spoiled, and now I felt not just pain, but annoyance.

"STUPID WALL!" I punched the wall not expecting it to do anything, right before it caved in on itself. I took a step back. Oh, my physiology HAD been altered. Whilst my speed didn't seem to have been augmented, since I hit the wall with all I had and I hit it at the same speed I would have hit it at had I not drank the potion, (Lot of "h's" in that one sentence eh?) my strength was definitely higher, I still lacked what I had been also trying to add to myself.

Speed, was the same.

Agility? I tried jumping and moving quickly, only to come up empty. I was still as mobile as I used to be, or technically still are now that I think about it.

Reflexes? I had tripped and fallen flat on my face; if my reflexes were increased I would have been able to avoid it.

Intelligence? I currently had no way to judge it, so I could, for the time being, say that it's the same.

I sighed; it was nowhere near as successful as I first thought. Still, I looked over at the wall and smiled slightly, I did have super strength, as useless it currently was that was still something. And I _did _look like a badass…

Tap tap tap! The sound of footsteps filled the hallways, right before it abruptly stopped. I gazed over in the general direction and felt my blood run cold. Medusa was staring, stone faced, at me and the damage to the wall. It didn't exactly look good, I had a glove covered in dust, or small particles of whatever the wall was made of most likely, and I was acting nonchalant about it. I gulped. I was _doomed,_ DOOMED I TELL YOU!

You know, I don't know where most of this was coming from. First, I was uncontrollably cheery, which could be attributed to the fact that I had made a freakin' self-replicating self-repairing completely badass blood replacement single handedly, but that was beside the point! Second, I was extremely angry, and punched the wall because of it. Now that I think about it, the rage was kind of like 'roid rage' if I ever felt it. And I haven't, thank you very much, but still. I definitely felt angry.

Third, now my thinking process has changed; I'm acting like a drama queen, and I haven't thought of anything random yet, which is far more troubling than anything else. I can't live without comparing a car to Jesus on a daily basis, damn you!

In hindsight, I shouldn't have added most of the components of steroids and some other homemade ingredients to the mix of the potion…

Focusing on Medusa for the moment though, she made her way quickly towards me, and boy did she not look pleased. Her eyes were in 'snake-mode' as I had called it, where her eyes looked just like snake eyes. Rather, there was no _like_, she DID have snake eyes. "Did you do this?" She asked sternly.

Her eyes narrowed, I was in deep trouble. I wonder if anyone in London is sharing my woes… AH! There it is! My random thought process! Thank ya JESUS!

"Um, I didn't mean to do it it just looked too promising to not make a physiology altering potion that gave me superhuman abilities hey don't sue me for being unoriginal and oh my god are you glaring at me that's creepy stop it please stop it now you're scaring me okay good you've stopped glaring at me which is good and now you're giving me a puzzled expression seriously what does that freakin' even MEAN-"I took in a deep breath.

"I feel like yam for some reason. You?" I said all of sudden.

She pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed but then replied calmly "Slow down, pace yourself. You mentioned something about 'physiology altering potion'? Would that have anything to do why I found you unconscious in the lab covered in your own blood?" I paused. She found me unconscious in the lab? And put me in my room? That was nice of her, that's creepily nice of her in fact. In all the months I've been here, she may have watched over me she hadn't really done anything to compliment me, or really just be nice to me in any way.

"Um, presumably, yeah, it would have everything to do with that" I scratched the back of my head, this was going to be awkward to explain, hopefully she heard most of what I said though.

She gestured for me to continue. I cleared my throat, "Alright. Here's the story; for the past three months I've been working on making a self-replicating self-repairing blood replacement alongside a potion that would alter my physiology. As indicated by the destroyed wall, I appear to have gained super strength, but nothing else besides it"

She raised an eyebrow at me, "Did the potion work beyond the super strength?"

I shifted slightly, "As far as I know, it did. My blood has even turned blue from it. Plus, as you can probably see from my different coloured eyes and different shades of green hair" I said pointing at my head.

"I see" She said simply. She looked deep in thought. When, suddenly she put her hand on my shoulder. "You're an experimenter after my own heart, little Angelika" She gave me a comforting smile.

Damn it, don't cry, don't cry, people with super strength don't cry- I wonder what I'd look like in the catwoman suit? DAMN IT! Even my random thought process couldn't save me from crying! And now, I'm bawling my eyes out directly into Medusa's shoulder, crying tears of joy that she had acknowledged me.

Damn, damn, damn! Stop crying! I need to, stop crying… My tears dried up instantly as I felt something else there. A chill down my spine, a watchful glare from behind me, (A thorn in my side, makes me wriggle and writhe) and things of that degree.

I turned around sharply in Medusa's grasp, only to come face to face with three oval-shaped eyes, right before I scream and fall to the floor, unconscious. I could hear my sister's voice calling to me, even, saying,

**"Big sister, big sister, let me down, let die and now just drown. Drown drown drown, in your, own, tears. Die, in, agony, and, in, fear."**

She sang evilly, and slowly.

* * *

**Author's notes: I'm definitely the only one who knows just how to sing those lyrics. I'm still creeped out by reading them. *Shivers* I think it came from listening to the suicidal marine from Halo 3 again. "Make them stop!" *BANG* "Just did, with a white hot bullet to the BRAAAAAIN" Good times. :)**

**So, as you probably can tell, there isn't a set schedule for these. Well, I aim to update when I can, but I promise you that I will, at least, update once a week. Promise, from now on I will update at least one of my stories. :)**

**As you can probably tell, that was madness. But where did the madness come from? What about the asylum? What about YAM's? Are they delicious? All these questions and more, will be answered on the next installment of WITCHEZ BE CRA-ZY.**

**Laterz, I'm out. (PS: Spellcheck just made this instantly much easier to use. THANK YOU SO MUCH THE GUY THAT MADE THAT FUNCTION)**


	6. Witchez are sooner to being crazy!

**Soul Eater:**

* * *

**_Witchez be CRAZY:_**

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**Chapter 5**

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**AN: Hey everyone, instead of making a new chapter I rewrote the end of this one. Enjoy.**

***DGM Abridged opening***

**Anyway, I dedicate this chapter ot Usantio, who I seriously hope hasn't unsubbed from this story, since he/she (don't know his/her gender) did mention that they story had kind of died for him.**

**ANYWAY STORY**

* * *

_**?**_

_The dark hallway that I peered into, I recognised it as the hallway that ran the length of my home, before I was taken to the asylum. I was home._

_Somehow._

_My steps made the floor creak, as though I was carrying a heavy weight. My every footstep broke the silence that I could only describe as 'dead, but not quite'. Everything in the hallway was indistinguishable from the utter blackness that threatened to consume all in its path. I gulped nervously. Whatever had happened, it had made this place I call home far more sinister and menacing then I had ever known it to be._

_In short; I was scared, this place looked scary, and I was wondering WTF had happened to make it so, mkay? _

_I came across the door that lead to my room, and attempted to turn the handle. I half expected that some kind of monster would jump out at me, but really it was just me being paranoid._

**:**Creak**:**

_I spun around as quickly as the noise reached my ears._

_Nope, sorry, nothing._

_I shivered, uncomfortable in my own skin at the moment. Though, the uncomfortable feeling I was getting came from long before I even had the tiniest hint that there was something behind me but that's beside the point!_

_I turned back around and opened the door to my room, concerned for my own safety about staying in the hallway any longer then I had to. It was only just as I took my first step into the room that I noticed the stench of something, something horrid._

_Death._

_And blood. Lots of it, in fact. Too much._

_I had the overwhelming urge to gag at the smell, it's overpowering scent was taking up the airspace I breathed, I felt as if I couldn't even breath._

_And then, I saw her._

_My sister._

_Lying in a poll of her own blood, mutilated viciously, with almost all of her body covered in either cuts or blood. Sometimes both._

"_Cle…" I couldn't even utter her name I was so shocked. But then, something washed over me, like a wave of water would wash onto a beach, and I felt the disturbing urge to laugh. Like this was just some cleverly constructed joke. Like this was just a nightmare. Like, I was free._

_I crumpled to my knees, unable to comprehend what was happening. What, how, when, why, who? What did this? How did it do this? When did it happen? Why did they have to…mutilate…my sister? Who did this to my sister?_

_My questions swam around my conscious mind before I briefly felt the sensation of falling, and landed in darkness._

* * *

_**BOOM! INSTANT DUES EX MACHINA MOTHERFUCKA!**_

* * *

_The fu-? What? What the hell was that-?_

THWACK!

"OW! SON OF A WAIT A SECOND I'M IN SOME KIND OF BED AND THERE'S MEDUSA GIVING ME STRANGE LOOKS AND I'M SWEATING HORRIBLY AND JUST WHAT HAPPENED AND WHY DOES MY HEAD HURT OH I THINK I FELL OVER OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT OH MAYBE THE DUES EX MACHINA WAS JUST ME WAKING UP OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT JUST WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED AND OH HI MEDUSA BITCH!" I exclaimed.

I took a deep breath, and gave a deep exhale. My forehead was throbbing, and it was getting on my nerves. But before I could solve said problem, I noticed the sweat drop and twitching eyebrow that Medusa was giving me and left my thoughts.

"I see you've managed to overcome whatever ailed you. How are you feeling?" She paused momentarily. "I ask as a fellow researcher, of course."

"Erm, my forehead is throbbing thank you." I responded. There was something bothering me, something I was forgetti-

_I turned around sharply in Medusa's grasp, only to come face to face with three oval shaped eyes, right before I scream and fall to the floor, unconscious. I could hear my sister's voice calling to me, even, saying, "Big sister, big sister, let me down, let die and now just drown. Drown drown drown, in your, own, tears. Die, in, agony, and, in, fear." She sang evilly, and slowly."_

…No. No no no no no no! That couldn't have been my sister, that couldn't have happened. And yet it did, or did it? Am I going crazy after all these years? I don't want to go back to the asylum! Never! Over my dead body!

I ground my teeth together harshly. No, I couldn't go back. Ever. But Medusa had taught me, during one of her lessons, that showing your emotions was one of the many mistakes one could make in the face of adversity. If this didn't classify as hardship, then I don't know what did. I breathed out, calmly. Or attempted to, at least.

It was only then that I took into account the room I was in. This room most definitely was mine, judging from the wallpaper. Though, it was a little bit warm in here. Almost like I'm cold blooded… Oh, wait a second, my experiment succeeded! Against all odds my 'Blue Blood' prototype worked! Yippee ki-yay, motherfucker!

Experiments succeeding were of course one of my favourite things, but celebrations couldn't be held _just _yet, since I had to know what happened to me first. I cleared my throat, and looked back at Medusa, having averted my eyes after my 'jumped to conclusions' conclusion. "Um, Medusa…" I wasn't sure how to mention the fact that I had seen three-eyes, three-OVAL-shaped-eyes, might I add.

"…Do you know what, three, oval shaped eyes, mean?"

Medusa looked at me in surprise, slightly agape, before turning stoic again. I didn't think I counted as hardship, I thought grimly. "Three oval shaped eyes? Why do you ask?"

I gulped nervously, "It's just…" How do you mention that you saw those kinds of eyes staring at you in what appeared to be just minutes ago? "I." Now was the moment of truth! Don't fail me now, tongue! "Saw, it." That took more resolve then I thought was capable of me. For some, inexplicable reason I felt as though, I don't know, it was some kind of threat, or something.

Medusa, momentarily, looked taken aback. Yeah, no shit. I'd be scared if someone said they saw utter nons- "You saw the mark of the Kishin? Where? When?" She was definitely stony faced, but I could feel the intrigue and urgent tone behind her words.

-What? She knew what that was? And more importantly, it was REAL? Or whatever it symbolised was real, at least. Something like that. "'Mark of the Kishin?'" I repeated.

She nodded. "Three oval shaped eyes is the symbol for the Kishin. Although…" Her voice trailed off. She was definitely deep in thought; unfortunately none of the many functions of my blue blood prototype was mind reading. I had attempted telekinesis though, as an added function but alas I've attempted it just now on the door knob and it didn't do anything. Damn. What functions that I had attempted to do had worked? The healing worked. My nose stopped bleeding within seconds, normally it would take, and this is just a guess, a minute or so for the effect to work completely with ordinary blood. So, three seconds versus a minute? Not bad.

That may not be wolverine but at least it proves the theory I applied worked. I had to thank Medusa for telling me about how snake shed skin for the idea. Oh, and super strength. That worked most definitely. The wall was only of a thin, weak substance though, and it did put up just a smidge of resistance…Damn. I guess I'm nowhere near as 'badass' as my celebration high made me proclaim I was.

Before I could go further into detail of what failed and the like, therefore diminishing what was left of my celebration high, I needed answers. "Medusa. What IS a mark of a Kishin?" I asked, crossing my arms.

Medusa broke out of her thoughts and looked back at me, stoic as ever, of course. "The mark of a Kishin is just that. A mark. It marks where a Kishin is most prevalent. The mark of a Kishin might show up on the faces of its followers, for instance. Or, it might show up in the place that they are living at, such as a building, or a dungeon…" She smirked. "A school basement, more specifically."

As much as it cleared up it left me with just as many questions, if not more, than I had started out with. I let the school comment slide, not knowing what it meant.

"And, of course, the mark would show up on the Kishin itself." Medusa continued. "There are even rare cases where there are those so touched by madness that they actually see the oval shaped eyes without the Kishin having been anywhere close to them. Those types are always on the downward spiral to insanity, and a lifetime of it no less." Medusa said solemnly. She was speaking like she knows someone going through said downward spiral or something like that…Creepy.

"Does that mean that a Kishin…" I let it hang in the air, not wanting to think out loud the other possibility. I didn't want to think of the possibility of going mad. Of spending my life questioning what was real and what wasn't. Wishing, nay, BEGGING for death to knock on my door.

I laughed bitterly internally. If that's what being insane is like, aren't I already there?

"No. I don't suspect a Kishin could come anywhere near this house. All Kishins are either currently imprisoned, or in the making." She smiled at the last part. I got the feeling that she was having a field day of private jokes. I need to know what she does about Kishins. Speaking of which, what is a Kishin?

I breathed in deeply, and exhaled deeply. Bitter rage and sadness out of the way now, I needed answers. "Medusa, what IS a Kishin itself?"

Medusa was hesitant at first, in her sitting on a chair position I could tell that she was actually uncomfortable, if only slightly. They were probably interconnected, her reasons for moving I mean. But not everything, because that would be stupid if everything was interconnected, Mr Detective.

"A Kishin, also known as an Afreet, is a demon god. A Kishin, itself, is insanity incarnate. Or as close to it as anyone has gotten so far. A Kishin has the power of a god, being able to actually fight and potentially defeat Lord Death himself. Be forewarned though, Kishins are, without a doubt, the most dangerous kinds of adversaries that any witch, meister, weapon, death scythe or otherwise could fight. When it comes down to it, even I couldn't defeat the Kishin in lone combat. Grand witch Mabaa is probably the only witch alive capable of defeating the Kishin alone." Medusa looked away.

"Although, if all goes according to plan, we shouldn't need to fight a Kishin." She smirked and looked back at me. She dropped the expression just as quickly as it came. "Does that answer your question?"

I nodded. "Kind of." I paused when I realised something. "Why did you keep on saying 'the' Kishin, though? Didn't you say that they were all dead?"

She remained stoic. "No. I said that 'some' of them were dead. Not all. More specifically, at least one of them is alive to this day. And it's the very first Kishin at that." I gulped. One of those things is alive?

"Where is it? What is it doing? How is it still alive? Why is it still alive?" I asked, mortified. How could something so powerful not have been simply destroyed by Lord Death already? Surely he was at least a smidge more competent than what Medusa had told me he was… (She said, and I quote "Angelika. If you ever meet Lord Death, I know you'd be opting for his death just as much as I do within five minutes of talking to him.")

She still remained expressionless. This was getting annoying. "So many questions, Angelika. Alright. I'll tell you. Asura, the first Kishin, is being held prisoner, underneath the school that the Shinigami runs. Currently, it's doing nothing but simply sleeping in a sack made of its own skin, since the Shinigami tore off its own skin to make a bag to contain it. How does it live? The question really should be, how do you kill an entity. Certainly you can't starve it off. As for why, I suspect it has something to do with how Shinigami and Asura used to fight together, side by side. It's probably why Lord Death couldn't finish him when he should have." Medusa replied. Could you talk for any longer, geez woman? I almost passed out from boredom!

Catfish. Suddenly, I'm reminded of catfish.

It might have to do with how I once caught a catfish, but couldn't kill because I felt to sorry for it and through it out into the lake I caught it in again.

A demon god with whiskers. Now that is just ridiculous. But I'm pretty sure that we crossed the border from 'Normal' to 'Batshit crazy' a few miles back. Maybe even a dozen. Suddenly, a god with whiskers wasn't laughable anymore.

"So, Lord Death pitied an opponent? Wouldn't that get him killed?"

She looked like she was about to speak, opening her mouth to do so, but then stopped, and closed her mouth accordingly. "Not necessarily. Lord Death is massively incompetent, but massively powerful as well. He's a Shinigami, after all." She answered. She snorted happily, making a happy grunting noise as well. "Maybe, one day, you will become strong enough to defeat Lord Death in a battle of magic, Angelika. That, would be a venerable achievement. To actually destroy a full grown," she mumbled under her breath something about 'childish actions' before continuing, "powerful Shinigami would earn you fame in the witch realm beyond belief." She jested.

Her next words were lost on me, as I already had stars in my eyes.

'Fame in the witch realm beyond belief,' those words resonated in my mind. Fame. Fame. I was going to be famous! I was going to be the legendary Shinigami slayer! The one who slays death himself! The one who-

Right, conversation with Medusa. Forgot about that.

Celebrations can come later, like after I beat his ass.

"Angelika. You mentioned your Blue Blood experiment. I would like a detailed explanation of what you can do and what you can't, if you wouldn't mind." Medusa demanded.

"O-okay." I blinked. And I did just that. The next hour was of me explaining to Medusa the abilities of which I attempted, and sadly, the very few that seemed to work.

"…Sadly, both communication with plants and animals doesn't appear to work. Well, I haven't tried it yet, but it probably doesn't with the streak I've had." I finished elaborating.

She nodded. "I see…" She looked away from me and looked at the window.

She paused, before turning back to me with a very, _very _small smirk. "Does your ability of alternative body possessing work?" Ah, the cooler way of saying body snatching, minus the copying and person disappearing, since I'll be literally using someone else's body. Note: this is actually different from using your soul to control someone else's body, since it involves transporting brainwaves and consciousness…it's kind of complicated to explain, actually, but that's the best summary of it.

"Erm." What was she getting at? "Not sure. I could, try it out, if you had someone in mind." I nervously ground my teeth.

"Very well then. Please follow me. We're going to conduct, a test, of sorts. To see if your experiment has some kind of value beyond your increased fighting capabilities." I smiled and climbed out of bed.

I do wonder just what part of my Blue blood works and what doesn't. The ability to fly probably won't, since that was an evolution so to speak of my ability to move fast. Neither would teleportation, then. Ability to do Jedi Mind tricks? That depends upon whether or not my adrenal glands took to the additional hormones or not, which I have no way of knowing without trying it out. Could I Jedi Mind trick Medusa? It's only designed to work on the weak willed, and she doesn't come off as the woman who bends over easily. Hm. I guess I'm trying it on the neighbour, Kenny, then.

Medusa had moved out of her chair and out the door by the time I had finished my internal monologue. Oh, she ditched me. What a snake.

Following Medusa out the door and down the hallway, I began to ponder what things I would need to test my capabilities with the Blood Blue…I pointed a hand at the portrait that Medusa had of herself, along with two other individuals that I assumed were family to the right and left, but in significantly smaller portraits.

Wait, don't want to damage Medusa's image, I thought hurriedly to myself. I pointed my hand at the picture to the right, it was a picture of someone that looked like a beautiful young sack, though there was no denying that she had this, _aura_, around her, even in photographs that made her seem to just utter the word with everything she did or said.

_Evil._

That, and power. Lots of it.

The painting made a slight nothing sound as absolutely nothing happened. At all. Aw. So telekinesis didn't work. Damn. I'm gonna need a bigger blue blood.

We reached the dungeon where Medusa keeps her 'experiments' soon enough after the telekinesis test. Hah! I made Alliteration! Suck on that, English teacher I used to have! I still wonder how Medusa can afford this entire intricate floor and land area. Surely this house, manor, thingy? Must have cost a small fortune, or rather a large one?

I shrugged, put it out of my mind, and stood and waited Medusa unlocked the jail cell.

Piss and death. That was what the room reeked off. My god, Medusa had kept the person in a bloody cage! And she's eating WHEATGRASS! The key word being GRASS! There's piss, EVERYWHERE, all over the floor, all over the walls, and it's overflowing from the bowl that she probably had as a toilet!

I'm instantly revolted, until I notice something behind the cage.

Animals. Lots and lots of dead animals. Rabbits, mostly, strangely enough. One of them was stabbed, another's skull was caved in, most likely from some sort of blunt force trauma (Should stop watching Law & Order) and the third Rabbit, that was actually distinguishable, since the other masses of white fur were skewered beyond belief, was crushed. Completely and utterly, like someone had smooched under heel. There were Squirrels, and Turtles, and birds of every kind, also strewn on the floor.

"MEDUSA!" I begin angrily. She turned to me with a raised eyebrow. "Why didn't you tell me that you had a room like this? I'm in dire need of a place to store all my reagents, and yet you hog all the space in this place!" As repulsed as I was, I wasn't going to throw up. Not by a longshot. I had gotten used to Medusa's experiment shenanigans. Kind of hard to be fussy about what your effective caretaker does in their off-time daily when you technically use less direct but just as bad methods.

The basis for my Blue Blood kind of had to come from somewhere, you know, but that's beside the point.

Point being Medusa gestured for me to try out my powers on the pink-haired, comatose esq young girl in the cage. Raising a hand, I whispered "here's hoping my sense of smell doesn't immediately kick-in. Otherwise, I _am _throwing up."

_Whoosh_

Silence. No sound was made beyond the mental one created within Angelika's mind, one Medusa certainly didn't hear.

The silence continued seemingly eternally, and Medusa was fast growing impatient. The only thing keeping her on a leash was the scientific understanding that things like these didn't happen instantly, or quickly either.

"It's hard, but if I can make a self-replicating self-repairing blood substitute, then I can do this at least." Spoke Angelika and the pink-haired caged girl in perfect unison, eerily.

This, caused Medusa to smile.

A plan was forming. A plan that Angelika was stepping into; feet first, gladly. For Medusa.

"Oh, and I'm going to throw up now." And so it happened.

* * *

**AN: Yeah, couple hundred different words doesn't make up for the amount of lost time, but it's a start. :P I'm just going to be doing other stuff now.**

**Oh, and before anyone asks or fears, I plan on working this story and Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel! equally. For now. I have ideas for Witchez Be Crazy, same as the other one, so I'm going to do 'em. Simple.**

**And stuff.**

**ANYWAY LATER**


	7. EA CONSPIRACY THEORY

_**EA:  
WHY THEY RUIN GAMES:  
STORY TIME BY FOLLIEOF "DA BADEST MOFO EVA" MADNESS  
SEQUAEL  
(Now with 20 per cent more Acid!)**_

* * *

**AN: 'Sup, Bitches? Nah I'm just kiddin'. Y'all are just my slaves. There's a difference.**

**This story here is what made Morgan kill himself now, so I'd appreciate it if you read it to. Just in case, a loaded fire-arm will be dispensed from the nearest Mailslot after the conclusion of this story.**

**With that said and done, read on my loyal subjects. Read, _on..._**

_Done Whilst Listening To:_

_**Caramelldansen **_by** _Caramel_**

**_Best Friends (Maxi Version) _**by** _Toy-Box_**

_Wone Dhilst HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII On:_

_Many things, namely:_

**_Meth _**injected through** _Eye_**

**_Crack _**injected through** _Ass Cheeks_**

**_Cocaine_ **injected through **_Skull_**

**_Refrain _**injected through** _Foot_**

**_Psycho_** injected through _**Right Testicle**_

_**Jet** _injected through **_Left Testicle_**

And last but not least:

**_Life _**injected through **_Forehead_**

* * *

Deep within the confines of the HQ of Evil Arts (EA to you and me) they are secretly scheming a scheme to end all scheme except not because despite the title they aren't actually that evil. But that's what they want you to think! They go around dipping children in molten chocolate and stealing old lady's handbags in an attempt to make you think that they are good! Nay, in truth, they actually do the unthinkable! The unconquerable! The unstoppable! The metaphysically incredulously arithmetically god-like-ness! They actually…HELP OUT AT HOMELESS SHELTERS AND TAKE CARE OF ORPHANS! Yes, EA truly are that inebriated. (**AN: **And so you know I am sobr)

Anyway with that randomness out of the way John Riccitiello was doing typical good guy stuff (He was setting an orphan on fire and whipping him and laughing 'cus he's a good guy) and his underling Peter Moore was shooting the wall with AK447 (It's lime more advanced because it has computer parts strapped to it hence the 4) because it was looking at him funny and might leak information and after sleeping with Sarah Palin so many times he couldn't even remember which by the way was Peter Moore he realised despite his damage brain that by the way is damaged that you shouldn't sleep with Sarah Palin whilst ramming your face into a belt sander, since he no longer had a face.

Blake Jorgensen was burning money with more burning money and that money was on fire from more burning money in the first place so that isn't illogical and because physics are weird and heat can like happen because of flames. And he was on fire like literally because he was smoking burning money and money that burns burns you again because physics suck. His face was rapped in bandages because of flames and flames are fire and fire bad. (**AN:** HAHA GEDDIT DRACULA SAID THAT) Blake was such a badass that he didn't care as his body was burning and smouldering because he was on aspirin and that helps with burns. Besides he had Health kits anyway. But then he saw sign outside and saw that no health packs in real life and that caused him to start screaming in agony because it hurt because fire does that to you. And then he was incinerated and then revived at the nearest checkpoint because wasn't stupid enough to not put Iron on. But it cost money and he was sad because then Hyperion told him to LIVVVVVVVE and that totally wasn't a Code Geass reference. (**AN:** If you don't knew that is then make tree and lke leave)

Rajat was licking Curry and eating it at the same time since he is Indian and stuff and the curry was tasting good and Curry sighed in moaning and fell off his chair from over-stimulation since the Curry was an Ardat-Yakshi. Anyway he got up because Frank Gibeau revived him and threwn into water and it was revealed that Rajat was actually A ROBOTIC ENDERMEN and also a fire-type since he took like a gazillion times more damage than normal and died. And Gibaeu levelled up and challenged Red to a duel and won because he cheated by cutting off Red's Pikachu. (**AN: **Yeah, his prized 'Pikachu' got cut right the f*ck off) Red fell threw the floor loudly silently screaming as he faded away from existence for reasons that were plot. Gibeau stole his seat and sat on it because that's what Bar stools are for and contrarararary to pupolar believe you don't drink beer from them. Patrick wwas doing Patrick stuff in the corner because he was crying because Rajat was his mother and he loved her but not like in a necrophilia way sicko's.

Andrew Wilson was beathing his wife in the doorway because she wasn't alive and then he took out an AK447 and shot all over the walls and people and people were like shouting and then the gun ran out of bullets and he through it threw the windaw. But then things happened and not stuff that Andrew liked. He saw…JOHN RICCITIELLO AND HIS CHAIR WERE BEING SAT ON BY HIMSELF. John shout "ENOUG! WE NEED TO MAKE MOAR GOOD PLANZ!"

"YEAH!" Agreed the Indian guy thing. "TOTALLY!" Shout a person. The room was unanimous in its decision to be good and kill children. When suddenly…

BILL GATES CRASHED THREW THE WINDOW WITH AN AK447 THAT HAD COMPUTER PARTS STRAPPED TO IT AND SARAH PALIN (She actually wasn't a spy after all. But she sure knows how to make a man talk. Or shout even. Smiley face - Bill) WAS ATTACKED TO HOOK FROM BILLS FACE AND BILL WAS TALKING ALL CAPS BECAUSE HIS CAPS LOCK KEY WAS BROKEN SINCE HE WAS ACTUALLY A machine. "WHY THE HELL ARE OU DOING YOU MOTHERUCKERS!"

"Nothing evil." John Riccitiello said menacingly, making his evil intentions.

"Yeah, just gonna whip us some kids!" Said Indian guy in Texas accent.

The board room was shouting and the sun was shining and the plants were singing and Bill Gates felt merciful and remembered his past because of steaks at time.

_**MEANWHILE IN THE PAST SOMETIME AGO**_

IT WAS EARLIER THAT DAY THAT BILL GATES WAS CONTRACTED BY BARACK OBAMA TO ASSINITE AND MURDER ALL THE MEMBERS OF THE BOARD, and Bill Gates agreed because EA was a mijor competitor when it came to global damnation.

Anyway Bills Gates was leaving when he saw Sarah Palin screawing a belt sander sicne it had someones face on it and due to her high intelligence she thought it was a person. He talked ot her and they had threesome with sander whom Sarah said was tooo rough and had guns so that Nill could kill president. Then Srah Palin revelead mask and tok of it and reavelead that she was aactually ABRAHAM LINCOL and that she wanted to help Bill Gates kill John and his bord friends since they wronged him back when he was alkive (**AN:** In this he is 18 so no Bill isn't a paedophile) and because he liked killing white guys since he was ricast and black. (**AN: **Don't tell me he isn't he's wearing a mask and YOU KNOW IT) but despite this weirdness Bill Gates and Abraham Licnolc rode out int the sun-set together on a jetski across the Sahara deserts since Barack Obama was actually…HA YOU'LL HAVE OT FIND OUT WHY LATER

_**MEANWHILE IN THE PRESENT JUST NOW LIKE LITERALLY NOW AS YOU ARE READING THIS BUT WHY ARE YOU READING THIS MAKES MORE SENSE THAN MILK IN A CUP SINCE CUPS HATE MILK WHO PUTS MILK IN CUPS ANYWAY MILKS HATES BAGS**_

Bill Gates remembered the lost of virility like it was yesterday because it was and that he had spent a lot of time asking locals for directions to Newy Ork sin according to google it din't exist here in south amaerica. He flew using Sarah Palins thrusters (**AN: **What else could be in those breasts? Flesh? HA! There are jet thrusters in here and you know it!) across the pacific andintro heaven because only person had a clue where new Yok was. Bill's old friend Michael jackosn was doing the Thriller in the grand hall of heaven and Bill Gates wiat because it was exclusive to children. (**AN: **Too soon?) But hten bill ghad idea and said to God 'cz he wanted an autograph from Michael Jackson tuo "GOD GIVE ME YOUTH" and god was like "IN ORDER TO TURN BACK INTO THE AGE OF EIGHT, YOU MUST ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS 2"

"AND BILL WAS LIKE OKAY" because he is all pawerful and stuff since jesus helped him with recreating the universe and that intomactally makes him cool. Power can only be defeated by more power. That is the one constant in the universe. That's what Bill said to Albert Wekser on his 12th birthgay since he is father of man. And from what Bill lst hard Albert was practically on fire and he assumed that stuff was good because its not like he could have gotgen kill ed or anything like lol right/ but that's just what Bill gates thinks and is not true because it isn't what he thinks.

Anyway things happened like this:

_Ol' Peter moore was stompin' around,_

_EA board room like a big greyhound,_

_When suddeny Bill gates burst from the window,_

_And hit Peter with a tub of bat Guanno,_

_Peter got pissed began to attract,_

_But didn't exhect to be blockd by Blak,_

_And proceeded up a can of Blake glue,_

_When JESUS CHRIST jumped ut of the blue,_

_And he started beating up Shaquille O' Neil_

_But both god hit by the John-Mobile,_

_But before he could make it back to the Jon-cave_

_MICHAEL JACKSON came moonwalking away,_

_And took an CAT out from under his AK447 (__**AN: **__ It shoots both the word MEOW and furballs the size of bus'),_

_And blew John away with MEOWMEOWMEOWTATATAT,_

_But he ran out of bullets and he moonwaked away,_

'_Cuz Master Chief came to save the kitten._

_THIS WAS THE ULTIMAT SHOWDOWN,_

_OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT DESTINY,_

_THIS WAS THE ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN,_

_SOMETHING THAT RHYMES WITH DOWN-ESTINY,_

_Good guys more so and explosions!_

_AS FAR AS THE HSORT RENDER DISTANCE IN MINECRAFT,_

_AND ONLY ONE HAS SURVIED,_

_I WONDER WHO IT HAS BEEN (__**AN: **__*SPOILER* It's jesus)_

_THIS WA THE ULTIMAT SHOWDOWN,_

_OF UTImATE DESTINY_

_Peter took a bite out of master Chief,_

_Like a fat guy who was really hungry,_

_And Blake can back covered in a tire hack,_

_When Dr. Hax glided onto his back,_

_And Bill Gates was injured, and in searc of light eco, (__**AN: **__With light eco you heal yourself.)_

_When Michael Jackson shot up the glee club, (__**AN:**__ SERVES THM RIGHT FOR RUINING ME SNGS! – Michael Jackson's words, not man)_

_But suddenly something caught his face he flipped,_

_Rajat took him out with his kick._

_And he saw John Riccitiello sneakning up from behind, _

_And he reached for his curry which he just couldn't find,_

_Cuz Bill Gates tole it and he shot and hi missed,_

_And Dr/ Hax reflected it with his hips,_

_And he fjumped in the air and he did a somuer sault,_

_Wile Michael Jackson ried to cast a vote,_

_But they collided at the booth,_

_And they both got hit by the lasso of truth._

_This was the ul,timate showdown of ultimate destirny_

_(__**AN: **__I think) Good guys Ea board members nd Micagael jackosn as far the eye can seen_

_And only Jesus sruribed, I wonder hwo it hs been_

_TThis was sort of the ultimate showdown of ultimate shodetiyn_

_Men sang out, in an immaculate schorus_

_And down from the heavans descended Chukc norsis,_

_Whm dlivede a kick that could shatter bowls,_

_Into the crothco, of the Rajat Taneja,_

_Whom fell over on the ground, writhing in pain_

_As Bill gates cam bak into the game,_

_But Hucks say through is clotever eyes,_

_And crushed his own head between his thights,_

_And then Sonc the hedgehong anc knuckles th hedgehong,_

_And Kanye west with his awesome raping beat,_

_A chrnoci masterbator beating his meat, and a shoe_

_And Pikachu and his trainer ash_

_Hulk wnet smash, Bruce Baner,_

_A 4-chaner, and Lil' wayna_

_Willy wonkam, something_

_Every single congress member,_

_John F. Kennedy, and Mitt Romney_

_A soch, a rochnj, a c*** and a block –_

_All came out of nwohep0s lightinginin fast,_

_And they kciek chcukmn oriis in his corpses ass,_

_It gthe most en sided Battle htat people abgeverfed saw._

_Wijgjk Gehower Bushb look nhng on I n total l aawe,_

_The v9ght raged on for a cetnruty ish_

_Man lives wre clamied btu evenatuALLY]_

_THE CHAMPION STOOD THE WRWSH SAW THEIR BETTERE_

_MR. ROGERSDSC IN BALOODSTAIENDI ASSWEATER_

_THIS IN KT AGTHE ULTumte gaowqdhqn Of ultaimte dezitbyn,_

_Good guags and bug guay0gw ajcaidn aexpoolloskisp as farhtg atas taeehv aeyes coyudl sese_

_And onohlap;sjdcs ln eon wihhbap lll suribek I wondedirfhaofhow hwp asopi been_

_This isn tghel aut;atiemad hsowdowbn_

_(Of desitn aityok)_

_His isa the ultaiten hxowdxnwo_

_(Of ultaikneihja destitny9)_

_Thisj isn the ullmagie0ik showdnw_

_(Of tumatnja0e ddestiny)_

_Of ULAG TNEOAONIOKWNIKGN LOGN AKN GKW NDESTINY AND EJSJUS_

But god was asking a quesitosn AND BILL ENEDED ATO ASNWER I t begfore god became angery since he lived to anger.

Bill gatea asked Godd "What is they name?' and god said "I Haveth no NAEM" AND BILL GATSES SIAD THAT WAS THE NAEAORRECT ANSWER AND DEACITVAGTE HIDSD HOLORAM SELF THATHE LAEFT BEHIDN FOR HIS BLACK DETECTIVE FREIDND TO FIGUJRE OUT TO CLJUE TO PREVENT AND ROBTO APOCLALPYPSE.

And then Bill asked an other question and Bill was like "What is the point of seixstenc?" and God was like "12" and bill gates nod and smile an laugh and grin smirk and then svilly as he ripped of his head to revwla that he was acutalll JOHN RICCITIELLO impersonating Bill because Bill Gates dnever existed but njohn Ricitiello never loved him anyway. And god was ,ike "OH MY ME YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARD YPU TRICKED ME INTO OPENING THE OMEGA MASS RELAY VIA LAETTING MAICHALE JACKSON OPEN HIS THEATER DOORS AT THE PLACE THAT IHE IS AT WIHCIH INVOLVES CHIDLREN" AND JOHN RICCIETIELLO WAS LIKE "FUCK YEAH NOW MY OMVERLORDS THE REPAERS CAN DESTROY HER GLAXY.

BUT DESCENDING FROM HEAVEN TO HEAVEN WHAT COMMANDER NORRIS AND HIS CREW OF ACTUALLY COOL CHARACTERS AND MIRANDA BUT NO ONE CARES ABOUT MIARNAD BUT SHOTS HAWT AND ALSO CURRENTLY DEAD BECAUSE COMMANDER NORRIS ACCIDENTLY BLW HER MIND WHEN SCREWING HER (He's Commander Chuck Norris Shepard. Shep happens.) SICNE THAT'S ALL THAT SHE SGOOD FOR AND STUFF BESICE OTHRE THINGS THAT FOR THE SAKE OF THE CHILDREN THEY WERE NOT BE ADOPETED AND OR CFARED FOR.

Anyway john Riccitiello and Commander Chuck Norris Shepard engaged into a battle of awesomeness in which Norris was shouting and John Riccitiello was whispering whilst shouting and whispering whilst Commander Chuck Norris Shepard engaged into a battle of awesomeness in which Norris was shouting and John Riccitiello was whispering whilst shouting and whispering whilst Commander Chuck Norris Shepard was Chuck Norrising the Reapers with dual M60's Rambo Norris style since he's actually his grandfather's son twice divorced cousin.

But John Riccitiello was winning this battle of mashing B button and all of a sudden Solid Snake got a tingling sensation in his pants. He just got a hard on from watching two grown men fight and he was like "BRO AM I TRIPPING OR WAT" but then helped Chuck Norris win when he didn't need because he's Chuck Norris. John Riccitiello stood up on top of the wreckage of Harbinger and said "RUN YOU FOOLS" because John Riccitiello was actually a good guy and then Solid Snake was like wut and Chuck Norris was smiling in a evilly wise way and shout "I SHALL NOW GET REVENGE FOR MY FATHER AND BROTHERS" as he removed his head to reveal that he was EZIO AUDITORE DA FIRENZE. "OH NO I KNEW IT IT WAS YOU YOU MOTHERFUCKER WHO KILLED MY MOTHER" Shout Bill Gates as he parasailed into Ezio and Ezio fell down needing a revive with his pistol drawn. He was shooting at Altair wanting him to revive him but all his ancestor did was teabag him as he died but then last second rezed him and Ezio scream into mic like twelve year old boy probably because he was "YOU FUCKING FUCKER OF FUCKING ASSHOLES I FUCKING NEARLY FUCKING DIED FUCKING YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE FUCKING MOTHERFUCKING YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL" and Altair was laughing and the pants were singing literally because both of them were high on Acid.

But then the next wave was inbound and Altair ninja flipped and landed on a Tauntaun and rode it to a place which had people in it and Bill Gates followed on a pterodactyl which had Jet Engines and computer parts and GUNZ strapped to it make it more arrowdinamyc. Chuck Norris stared down Solid Snake and said "YPOU SHALL NTO PASS" and Snaek was like "I MA SLICE THE FUKC OUTTA YOU BITCH" abd pulled out a SOCOM and cut Chuck Norris in half. But then Chuck Norris got up and stareted laughing in a really Alucard way because he was him! The original Vampire shouted "IMMA FIRIN' MY BLAHHHH!" and host a laser beam out of his eyes and destroyed the cabbage man's stand. "MY CABBAGES" you no get points ofr guessing who said dat.

And then Cabbage man was like "SUPA POWAS ACTIVATE" and became a super saiyan. Elsewhere, that fat guy who eats light (Keep him AWAY from Death Note!) was starving to Megadeth.

Super Saiyan Cabbage man shot out a gazillion lazers and made Chuck Norris do the matreix and an ACNI PAI began for the crown.

_**MEAHWILE**_

_**UNDERNEATH THE BUILDUING OF EAVIL ARTS**_

A man in black and dressed in dark black with black everything whilst black was blacking a blackl wand blacking blcakc black.

The black was like "WE SHALL DESTROY THEM ALL" and the other black was like "U DON'T SAYY?" AND HEN HE WAS LIKE CHICKENS AND SAYINGS "I will continue my campaign against the HUMANS" AND THINGS WENT BLACK BUT NOT IN A RACIST WAY.

END OF ONE AND THE PTHERS WILL BEGON SHORTLY

* * *

**AN: AND ALL THEM MORTALS WERE LIKE "ERMEHGERD THIS STORY IS THE BEST EVAR" BECAUE FOR ONCE THEY ARE TRUE AND I Am speaking in all caps for some reason, the hell...?**

**Whatev's.**

**As you can probably tell, I'm back to normal now. Well, as normal as a man who constantly and consistently says the wrong things to people and lacks a shiz-ton of social skills and sits in a corner typing the shit you digest with your eyes (My story). Don't think about that mental image. Don't think about it. Don't think about it. Don't think about it. DON'T THINK ABOUT IT! DON'T. THINK. ABOUT. IT! STOP IT! STOP IT RIGHT NOW!**

**Ahem**

**I'm more than likely going to regret ever writing this thing. I know I already am. Meh.**

**For your entertainment people, for your entertainment.**

**Ciao for now, and I'll see you, next time~~~.**


	8. Happy New Year Y'all!

**_~~Dear Subjects~~:_**

* * *

_I have literally less than twenty seconds to write this - oh fuck me, I was aiming to write this letter and upload it before the New Year was in, but now it's past 11:30pm for me. :(_

**_HOWEVER_**

_I still wish, with all my heart, and as far as my pockets can go since you are all effectively working under me so I wish it most on those who make me the most truly, that you all/those that make the most amount of money/care for me the most/haven't been executed for treason A.K.A saying I'm a douche yet, a happy new year._

_Oh, and before you say it's annoying CrazySarahify, oh yeah I'm callin' you OUT, that's the point of messing with people, 'tis it not? :)_

**_~With As Warm As A Winter Storm A.K.A Blizzard Wish~  
Have a Happy New Year, y'all!_**

**_Now excuse me I have chapters to write. Tata~~._**

* * *

**AN: Why am I even putting this here?**


	9. IMPORTANT AN! (MUST READ!)

**Story removal: Exactly as it sounds**

* * *

Ah, hello y'all. You probably thought this was an update, didn't you? Far from it. Sorry to say it folks, but I'm cancelling this story. *Collective 'aw' from crowd*

Putting this simply, the enthusiasm normally abundant for my writing expeditions for stories such as this is lacking. Has been lacking, in fact, every single day since I last updated this story. I really am sorry for those who enjoyed reading this story and were hoping for future updates, however I need to do this otherwise it won't stop bothering me like a persistent rash.

Really, I did use that comparison. Shut up.

I don't do this with the mindset of an attention hog; I truly do mean the following.

Lastly, if people state, through review or PM I'm not picky, that they wish for this story to be continued, then I will retract my removal plans. The amount needed for me to change my mind won't be as miniscule as just one person; rather, a couple. At least. If five people, at the minimum, say that they want this story continued, I'll damn well continue it. Granted, the update won't be soon, possibly ever but, it will have a far higher chance of such if it isn't removed.

For the deadline when Reviews and PMs will stop being counted, it's Sunday (21st of April), 12:00am (midnight). Note: this is at 'US Pacific Time', which is what this site runs on in terms of time. Google it if you don't understand the time difference.

Of course, Google it if you don't know the time difference.

Of course (the 2nd), this goes out to all stories that I'm not interested in writing; so if you are subscribed to, say, 'Code Geass: Infinite Possibilities', then don't bother checking the update. It isn't an actual update; rather, it's just this message again.

Lastly, (anyone else getting a sense of Deja vu?) I'm sorry for this. I had no idea this would happen until relatively recently.

So, yeah. Pay no heed to this, and I'll remove the story. Do pay heed, and I won't. Simply your choice, people of the internet/readers of this story.

**_This was a message from:_  
**

**_~Sir FollieOfMadness, The First and Foremost Of The Madness Line~_**


	10. AN OF MAJOR IMPORTANCE (READ, YOU MUST)

**A quick explanation of things**

Hey. For many of my stories, this will be the last update. The last chapter. The end.

Quite simply, the reason I haven't been able to remove these stories sooner is due to , for whatever reason, being inaccessible for the past few days. Literally, my browser couldn't contact the server. But, that's unimportant now.

Keep in mind that I'm not removing –all- of my stories. I'm not removing Witchez Be Crazy, or Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel! (given its Latin translation, it actually is 'Alternis mundi? Tempto tempus itinerantur!) for instance. Those two are ones I actually see myself continuing.

Anyway, last thing is I'm sorry for leading those that actually enjoyed the stories I'm removing on. I realise how arrogant of me it is to assume that there are in fact people whom enjoyed reading what I consider god-awful but, it is just an assumption in the end.

I will be removing the stories in precisely one day after this AN is posted.

Ciao, forever. (okay, that sounds pretty melodramatic, and is somewhat untrue, bud fugit. It works)


End file.
